The Order and Co Read The Order of the Phoenix
by shiny ruby
Summary: Hermione has discovered three books at Grimmauld Place. How did they get there? Wait, why is Draco Malfoy here? What should they do? Read the books, of course!
1. Prologue

**A/N: I'm Black Rose Blue and I'm writing this story with Ruby. Some chapters might be all me and some chapters might be all her, but I hope they read as one person. I hope you like this chapter! I own nothing.**

_A/N: Cheers! I'm Ruby and seeing as Black Rose Blue pretty much explained it all I'm going to say is REVIEW! It makes people happy, it really does…_

**Prologue**

Hermione had dealt with her share of weird things. It came with the job description of being Harry Potter's best friend. But in her entire life, she had never expected something like this: a book titled Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on top of a stack of books that a quick look at the bindings showed they similarly named.

Why on earth would Harry's name would be on the cover of three books, the copyright page saying it wasn't to be published for eight years? Of all the things she had been confronted with in her years at Hogwarts; this was definitely the weirdest… She needed to find an authority figure, now.

She walked down the stairs, to where everyone was hanging out: the kitchen, waiting for Mrs. Weasley to finish cooking dinner. Luckily Professor McGonagall was in the kitchen with everyone else; unluckily, she was otherwise occupied, namely arguing fervently with Professor Snape.

She didn't know what to do and it seemed as though she was the only one who was worried. Harry, Ron, and Ginny were talking to Sirius and Tonks, Neville was listening to Luna talk to a mildly interested looking Remus about, no doubt, her newest made up creature. Fred and George were probably hiding from their mother, Hermione noticed that Mundungus was missing as well, probably dong the same thing as the twins, come to think of it, he was probably doing it _with_ the twins.

There were a few people she was surprised to see: Draco Malfoy was standing near Professor Snape warily eyeing Moody, Fleur Delacour was holding hands with Bill, who was talking to his parents and Charlie.

There were two women she didn't know talking to Kingsley in a corner. They looked about the same age as Sirius and Remus; they might've been part of the original order.

She decided her best bet was to go to Harry, Ron, and Ginny. She went over and sat on the edge of the sofa next to Ron.

"Not Umbitch Sirius! It's Umbridge." Harry was telling Sirius.

"It suits her though." Ginny chimed in.

"Agreed." Ron said with a laugh.

"I bet she's worse then your mum," said Tonks.

"Not possible," said Sirius with an incredulous chuckle.

Hermione almost snorted, the Gryffindor (and Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and even a few Slytherins ) new favourite pastime was trash talking Umbridge, or in a rare case of disrespecting authority for Hermione, Umbitch.

"What's the matter, Hermione?"

She was brought out of her reverie by Remus who seemed to be the only one who had noticed her arrival. Figures. As soon as he said it though, everyone turned around to look at her. Malfoy was the one who noticed the books in her arms.

"What are those?" he said, pointing to them. Amazing how he could make even three simple words sound like an insult.

Hermione supposed there was no use beating around the bush. "Three books published about Harry's life, one for fifth, sixth, and seventh each. That's not the funniest part. The first says it won't be published for eight years, the second in ten, and the third in twelve."

Draco blinked, as did everyone else. Mrs. Weasley had come out of the kitchen and Fred, George, and Mundungus had come out of hiding. Snape of course was the one to break the silence.

"Three time-traveling books dedicated entirely to Potter is _not_ what I call a good read nor something that I find easily believable. If you were anyone else, I would suggest that you are trying to pull a prank. In fact, I'm still trying to decide whether you are or not." Snape's cold black eyes bore into her brown and Hermione couldn't help but gulp.

"Well, I think we _should_ read them," Ron said a little too loudly. Fred (or maybe it was George) took a step forward and opened their mouth as if about to say something sarcastic about Ron wanting to read, maybe something along the lines of 'That must have been hard Ron, wanting to read. How many of your baser instincts did you have to go against?' Not that Hermione was thinking that or anything like it. She swears.

"I agree with Mr. Weasley," suddenly came from behind Hermione, but no one was surprised to see Dumbledore. The disgruntled Percy behind him, yes, but Dumbledore no. Everyone turned to look at him, and Dumbledore said, with a twinkle in his blue eyes, "So long as it's okay with Harry, of course."

As if planned and coordinated months ago, everyone turned and looked Harry at the same time. The boy in question seemed to shrink in his seat as he muttered, "Well, if everyone _wants_ too. . . ."

"Excellent!" Dumbledore said with something that could only be called a smirk. "Mr. Weasley, since you were the first one to mention wanting to read it, I think it's only fitting that you read the first chapter." Dumbledore grabbed the first book from Hermione's arms and handed it to Ron smoothly, and both teenagers wondering what happened. Ron soon noticed though that everyone has sat down and was looking at him to begin reading, though a few people looked like they just wanted him to read so that they could leave.

Ron cleared his throat and began to read. "Chapter One: Dudley Demented"


	2. Dudley Demented

**A/N: This chapter was pretty much written by Ruby, I just beated it really. And I probably didn't do a very good job either. . . .**

_A/N: She's lying; she did a great job… Anyways, I hope you enjoy the chapter..._

* * *

**Chapter One: Dudley Demented**

Harry snorted. "That describes him well."

While the teenagers laughed, Sirius groaned and said, "Is this the chapter in which you get attacked by Dementors?"

Harry nodded.

"Bloody brilliant way to start a book." Sirius was almost as good at blink and you miss it sarcasm as Snape.

**The hottest day of the summer so far was drawing to a close and a drowsy silence lay over the large, square houses of Privet Drive. Cars that were usually gleaming stood dusty in their drives and lawns that were once emerald green lay parched and yellowing; the use of hosepipes had been banned due to drought. Deprived of their usual car-washing and lawn-mowing pursuits, the inhabitants of Privet Drive had retreated into the shade of their cool houses, windows thrown wide in the hope of tempting in a nonexistent breeze. The only person left outdoors was a teenage boy who was lying flat on his back in a flower bed outside number four.**

"Harry?" said a Weasley twin.

_George_, Hermione thought. _Possibly_.

"Yes, George?" It had been George.

Fred asked the next question. "Is there a particular reason you're lying in a flowerbed?"

"How'd you know it's me, Fred?"

"Easy, you're the only teenager there who doesn't resemble a whale."

Ron laughed and said "That is so true" while all the adults who hadn't met Dudley looked interested.

**He was a skinny, black-haired, bespectacled boy who had the pinched slightly unhealthy look of someone who has grown a lot in a short space of time.**

"Yeah, Harry, your Dad was a midget until fifth year too," said Sirius.

"So were you, Sirius" interjected Remus.

Harry laughed.

"I don't see what you're laughing about Harry, you were a midget too." Ron interjected.

"Ron!" said Hermione, smacking him on the arm.

"You're quite rude sometimes you know." All heads turned simultaneously towards Luna who had not spoken until this point.

"Yes, Ron you must mind your manners" said Mrs. Weasley.

Ron looked down, his ears turning red.

**His jeans were torn and dirty, his T-shirt baggy and faded, and the soles of his trainers were peeling away from the uppers. Harry Potter's appearance did not endear him to the neighbors,**

"Nor to me" sneered Snape.

Snape ignored the glares from Sirius, Remus, and Professor McGonagall.

**who were the sort of people who thought scruffiness ought to be punishable by law, but as he had hidden himself behind a large hydrangea bush this evening he was quite invisible to passersby. In fact, the only way he would be spotted was if his Uncle Vernon or Aunt Petunia stuck their heads out of the living room window and looked straight down into the flower bed below.**

**On the whole, Harry thought he was to be congratulated on his idea of hiding here.**

"CONGRATULATIONS, HARRY!" shouted Fred, George and, surprisingly, Tonks. Remus fell off the sofa.

"Merlin," he said," You guys are worse than Sirius. . . ."

**He was not, perhaps, very comfortable lying on the hot, hard earth, but on the other hand, nobody was glaring at him, grinding their teeth so loudly that he could not hear the news, or shooting nasty questions at him, as had happened every time he had tried sitting down in the living room and watching television with his aunt and uncle.**

"Why would anyone want to, though?" said Ginny

**Almost as thought this thought had fluttered through the open window, Vernon Dursley, Harry's uncle, suddenly spoke. "Glad to see the boy's stopped trying to but in. Where is he anyway?"**

**"I don't know," said Aunt Petunia unconcernedly, "Not in the house."**

**Uncle Vernon grunted.**

**"Watching the news…" he said scathingly. "I'd like to know what he's really up to. As if a normal boy cares what's on the news - Dudley hasn't got a clue what's going on, doubt he knows who the Prime Minister is!"**

"That isn't a good thing!" cried Molly

**"Anyway, it's not as if there'd be anything about his lot on our news-"**

**"Vernon, shhh!" said Aunt Petunia. "The window's open!"**

**Oh…yes…sorry dear…"**

**The Dursleys fell silent. Harry listened to a jingle about Fruit 'N Bran breakfast cereal while he watched Mrs. Figg, a batty, cat-loving old lady from nearby Wisteria Walk, amble slowly past.**

**She was frowning and muttering to herself. Harry was very pleased that he was concealed behind the bush; Mrs. Figg had recently taken to asking him around for tea whenever she met him in the street.**

"With good reason Potter." growled Moody

"How was I supposed to know that her inviting me for tea was code for 'I'm protecting you'?"

**She had rounded the corner and vanished from view before Uncle Vernon's voice floated out of the window again.**

**"Dudders out for tea?"**

**"At the Polkisses'," said Aunt Petunia fondly. "He's got so many little friends, he's so popular…"**

Harry snorted, while several others laughed at 'Dudders'  
**  
**

**Harry repressed a snort with difficulty. The Dursleys really were astonishingly stupid about their son, Dudley;**

"I don't think there's anything astonishing about it, actually" said Neville," They sound awful".

**They had swallowed all his dim-witted lies about having tea with a different member of his gang every night of the summer holidays. Harry knew perfectly well that Dudley had not been to tea anywhere; he and his gang spent every evening vandalizing the play park, smoking on street corners, and throwing stones at passing cars and children.**

**Harry had seen them at it during his evening walks around Little Whinging; he had spent most of the holidays wandering the streets, scavenging newspapers from bins along the way.**

**The opening notes of the music that heralded the seven o'clock news reached Harry's ears and his stomach turned over. Perhaps tonight, after a month of waiting, would be the night.**

**"Record numbers of stranded holidaymakers fill airports as the Spanish baggage-handler's strike reaches its second week..."**

**"Give****'em****a lifelong siesta, I would," snarled Uncle Vernon over the end of the newsreader's sentence.**

"What a horrible man," said Professor McGonagall angrily, she then turned to the headmaster, "I told you, Albus, not to leave Harry with these people!"

"You did?" asked Harry curiously, "When?"

She turned to Harry, "The night He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was defeated, Potter, the very same night Albus insisted you would be safe with your aunt and uncle!"

Dumbledore had apparently not heard the conversation because he continued to stare at the book in Ron's hands.

**...but no matter: Outside in the flower bed, Harry's stomach seemed to unclench. If anything had happened, it would surely have been the first item on the news; death and destruction were more important than stranded holidaymakers….**

**He let out a long, slow breath and stared up at the brilliant blue sky. Every day this summer had been the same: the tension, the expectation, the temporary relief, and then mounting tension again...**

**and always, growing more insistent all the time, the question of why nothing had happened yet...**

"Because-"

"I know why _now_, Remus," said Harry" This happened several months ago, remember?"

Remus turned slightly red.

**He kept listening, just in case there was some small clue, not recognized for what it really was by the Muggles, an unexplained disappearance perhaps, or some strange accident... but the baggage-handlers' strike was followed by news on the drought in the Southeast ("I hope he's listening next door!" bellowed Uncle Vernon "with his sprinklers on at three in the morning!"; then a helicopter that had almost crashed in a field in Surrey, then a famous actress's divorce from her famous husband ("as if we're interested in their sordid affairs," sniffed Aunt Petunia , who had followed the case obsessively in every magazine she could lay her bony hands on).**

"Hypocrite" said Hermione acidly

**Harry closed his eyes against the now blazing evening sky as the newsreader said, "And finally, Bungy the budgie has found a novel way of keeping cool this summer. Bungy, who lives at the Five Feathers in Burnsley, has learned to water-ski! Mary Dorkins went to find out more..."**

**He rolled cautiously onto his front and raised himself onto his knees and elbows, preparing to crawl out from under the window.**

He had moved about two inches when several things happened in very quick succession.

Ron rolled his eyes and said" Obviously"

**A loud, echoing crack broke the sleepy silence like a gunshot; a cat streaked out from under a parked car and flew out of sight; a shriek, a bellowed oath, and the sound of breaking china came from the Dursleys' living room, and as thought Harry had been waiting for this signal, he jumped to his feet, at the same time pulling from the waistband of his jeans a thin wooden wand as if he were unsheathing a sword.**

Arthur laughed weakly," Of course Harry would know about unsheathing a sword."

**But before he could draw himself up to full height, the top of his head collided with the Dursley's open window, and the resultant crash made Aunt Petunia scream even louder.**

"So clumsy, Harry!" said Sirius teasingly, nudging Harry, "You're even worse then Nympha-"

"I dare you to complete that sentence, Sirius," said Tonks, wand drawn.

"Funny, I forgot what I was talking about. . . ." said Sirius staring at the wand.

Harry gave a loud false cough that sounded an awful lot like "pansy". Everyone laughed at Sirius' offended expression.

"Hey! You're supposed to be on _my_ side!" he said

Harry shook his head, "Sorry Sirius, I'm on the winning side."

Tonks grinned, "The kid's right, Sirius"

**Harry felt as if his head had been split in two; eyes streaming, he swayed, trying to focus on the street and spot the source of the noise, but he had barely staggered upright again when two large purple hands reached through the open window and closed tightly around his throat.**

As that sentence was read, everyone's head slowly turned toward Molly, even Sirius and Remus. At seeing his mother get redder and redder, Ron quickly began reading. Everyone ignored the muttered curses that came as Ron read. No one felt like it would be good to tell her to be quiet.

**"Put…it…away!" Uncle Vernon snarled into Harry's ear. "Now! Before…anyone…sees!"**  
**  
"Get…off…me!" Harry gasped; for a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncle's sausage-like fingers with is left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wand. Then, as the pain in the top of Harry's head gave a particularly nasty throb, Uncle Vernon yelped and released Harry as thought he had received an electric shock…some invisible force seemed to have surged through his nephew, making him impossible to hold.**

"That's very powerful accidental magic, Harry," said one of two women who had been with Kingsley, who Hermione had learned was Emmeline Vance, looking at him curiously, "Do you do this sort of thing often?"

"We-ell," said Harry, "I blew up my aunt once"

Snape and Sirius both turned at the same time and said," Petunia?"

Harry grinned slightly as Remus snickered at the identical looks of disgust of Snape's and Sirius' faces.

"No, my Uncle's sister, Aunt Marge."

Hermione wrinkled her nose, "Even her name sounds awful."

"Well, obviously, she's awful; Harry blew her up for a reason."

"Yes Hermione-"

"How could you not know that?" said the twins in response to Ron's statement.

**Panting, Harry fell forward over the hydrangea bush, straightened up, and stared around. There was no sign of what had caused the loud cracking noise, but there were several faces peering through various nearby windows. Harry stuffed his wand hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent.**

**"Lovely evening!" shouted Uncle Vernon, waving at Mrs. Number Seven, who was glaring from behind her net curtains."**

"She must be bitter because her name is 'Mrs. Number Seven'" said Luna matter-of-factly.

"You know what, Luna?" said Sirius, leaning back," I think you're right"

**"Did you hear that car backfire just now? Gave Petunia and me quite a turn!"**

**He continued to grin in a horrible, manic way until all the curious neighbors had disappeared from their various windows, then the grin became a grimace of rage as he beckoned Harry back toward him.**

**Harry moved a few steps closer, taking care to stop just short of the point at which Uncle Vernon's outstretched hands could resume their strangling.**

"That's probably good idea," said Bill, smiling.

"Eet is not funny, Beell," said Fleur angrily, hitting him on the arm slightly…Bill's smile suddenly disappeared and all his brothers started snickering.

**What the devil do you mean by it, boy?" asked Uncle Vernon in a croaky voice that trembled with fury.**

**"What do I mean by what?" asked Harry coldly. He kept looking left and right up the street, still hoping to see the person who had made the cracking noise.**

"Good, Potter," said Moody," Those'll keep you alive someday"

Harry looked slightly confused but decided not to question it much to the amusement of Sirius.

**"Making a racket like a starting pistol right outside our -"**

**"I didn't make that noise," said Harry firmly.**

"Oh, Harry," said Hermione," I don't think they're going to believe you"

"Harry shrugged, "I have to try"

**Aunt Petunia's thin, horsey face now appeared beside Uncle Vernon's wide, purple one. She looked livid.**

**"Why were you lurking under our window?"**

**Yes-yes, good point, Petunia! What were you dong under our window, boy?"**

**"Listening to the news," said Harry in a resigned voice.**

**His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage.**

**"Listening to the news! Again?"**

**"Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry.**

Sirius and Remus snorted.

Fred and George looked at Harry, very surprised, "You have a sense of humor?"

"Where have you been hiding it?"

"Far away from you, I'm sure," said Harry, smirking slightly

"Thank goodness," said Professor McGonagall, everyone looked at her in surprise so she explained herself, "The last thing I need is another Potter to be a prankster, especially with Sirius Black as a godfather"

Sirius laughed, but the twins turned to Harry.

"We have a bone to pick with you, Harry," said George.

"Yeah, how come you didn't tell us you were Prongs' so?" asked Fred.

"You knew all three Marauders but you didn't tell us!"

Harry looked at them with a raised eyebrow and said, "I've been a little busy… How did you find out anyway?"

"Oh, I think I can tell you that story," said Remus. "They heard Sirius refer to me as Moony so they, naturally, used -err- slightly questionable methods to listen to the rest of our conversation and so-"

"The hero worship began," finished Sirius dramatically.

"Which Sirius, as you can see, enjoys immensely," said Remus dryly.

Harry grinned and nudged his godfather, "Who in their right mind would worship you?"

"I wondered the s- Hey!"

"You were going to agree!"

**"Don't you be clever with me, boy! I want to know what you're really up to- and don't give me any more of this listening to the news tosh. You know perfectly well that your lot…"**

**"Careful, Vernon!" breathed Aunt Petunia, and Uncle Vernon lowered his voice so that Harry could barely hear him, "…that your lot don't get on our news!"**

**"That's all you know," said Harry.**

"True," said Charlie, "Sirius was on Muggle news."

"Yeah, but I can't use him as an example", said Harry.

Sirius looked at him curiously and Harry smirked slightly, "I may or may not have forgotten tell them you were innocent."

Tonks laughed. "Good one, Harry."

**The Dursley's goggled at him for a few seconds, then Aunt Petunia said, "You're a nasty little liar. What are all those -" she too lowered her voice so that Harry had to lip-read the next word," owls doing if they're not bringing you news?"**

**"Aha!" said Uncle Vernon in a triumphant whisper. "Get out of that one, boy!" As if we didn't know you get all your news from those pestilential birds."**

**Harry hesitated for a moment. It cost him something to tell the truth this time, even though his aunt and uncle could not possibly know how bad Harry felt at admitting it.**

**"The owls…aren't bringing me news," said Harry tonelessly.**

Ron, Hermione and Sirius looked really guilty.

"Months ago, remember?" said Harry

**"I don't believe it," said Aunt Petunia at once.**

**"No more do I," said Uncle Vernon forcefully.**

**"We know you're up to something funny," said Aunt Petunia.**

**"We're not stupid, you know," said Uncle Vernon.**

"Right," said Ginny," And Harry isn't a git who likes doing things alone"**  
**

**"Well that's news to me," said Harry, his temper rising,**

"Ooohh, that's never a good thing"

"Are you kidding?" said Fred

"I love it when Harry's temper rises! He's bloody hilarious when he's angry!"

**and before the Dursleys could call him back, he had wheeled about, crossed the front lawn, stepped over the low garden wall and was striding off up the street.**

**He was in trouble now and he knew it. He would have to face his aunt and uncle later and pay the price for his rudeness, but he did not care very much just at the moment; he had much more pressing matters on his mind.**

**Harry was sure that the cracking noise had been made by someone Apparating or Disapparating. It was exactly the sound Dobby the house-elf made when he vanished into thin air.**

"Why was there a house elf on Privet Drive?" asked Remus

"Yes," said Hestia," We need background information"

"Later," Harry promised

**Was it possible that Dobby was here in Privet Drive? Could Dobby be following him right at this very moment? As this thought occurred he wheeled around and stared back down Privet drive, but it appeared to be completely deserted again and Harry was sure that Dobby did not know how to become invisible.**

**He walked on, hardly aware of the route he was taking, for he had pounded these streets so often lately that his feet carried him to his favorite haunts automatically. Every few steps he glances over his shoulder. Someone magical had been near him as he lay among Aunt Petunia's dying begonias, he was sure of it. Why hadn't they spoken to him, why hadn't they made contact, why were they hiding now?**

**And then, as his feeling of frustration peaked, his certainty leaked away.**

**Perhaps it had hadn't been a magical sound after all. Perhaps he was so desperate for the tiniest sign of contact from the world to which he belonged that he was simply overreacting to perfectly ordinary noises. Could he be sure it hadn't been the sound of something breaking inside a neighbor's house.**

**Harry felt a dull, sinking sensation in his stomach and, before he knew it, the feeling of hopelessness that had plagued him all summer rolled over him once again.**

**Tomorrow morning he would be awoken by the alarm at five o' clock so that he could pay the owl that delivered the Daily Prophet, but was there any point in continuing to take it? Harry merely glanced at the front page before throwing it aside these days; when the idiots who ran the paper finally realized that Voldemort was back it would be headline news, and that was the only kind Harry cared about.**

**If he was lucky, there would also be owls carrying letters from his best friends, Ron and Hermione, though any expectation he had had that their letters would bring him news had long since been dashed.**

"We can't say much about you-know-what, obviously…" We've been told not to say anything important in case our letters go astray…" "We're quite busy but I can't give you details here…." "There's a fair amount going on, we'll tell you everything when we see you…."

**But when were they going to see him? Nobody seemed too bothered with a precise date. Hermione had scribbled "I expect we'll be seeing you quite soon" inside his birthday card, but how soon was soon? As far as Harry could tell from the vague hints in their letters, Hermione and Ron were in the same place, presumably at Ron's parent's house. He could hardly bear to think of the pair of them having fun at the Burrow when he was stuck in Privet Drive.**

Ron made a face, "Not exactly."

"Trust me, Ron… So long as I'm away from Privet drive, I'm happy."

"Evidently," said Snape, scowling, still bitter about being roped into listening to the books,_I have better things to do then listen to Potter's whining…And there are three books full of it._

**In fact, he was so angry at them that he had thrown both their birthday presents of Honeydukes chocolates away unopened,**

Remus looked scandalized, "Don't take it out on the chocolate Harry!"

"Just because _you're_ obsessed with ch-"

"I am not obsessed with chocolate!"

"Suurree…"

**Thought he had regretted this after eating the wilting salad Aunt Petunia had provided for dinner that night.**

**And what were Ron and Hermione busy with? Why wasn't he, Harry, busy? Hadn't he proved himself capable of handling much more than they? Had they all forgotten what he had done? Hadn't it been he who had entered that graveyard and watched Cedric being murdered and had been tied to that tombstone and nearly killed…?**

"I sound really bad, don't I?" said Harry, frowning at his thoughts

"No you do-"

Hermione was cut off by Ginny. "Yeah you do."

"Thanks Ginny, really"

"No problem Harry… Anytime"

**Don't think about that, Harry told himself sternly for the hundredth time that summer. It was bad enough that he kept revisiting the graveyard in his nightmares, without dwelling on it in his waking moments too.**

**He turned a corner into Magnolia Crescent; halfway along he passed the narrow alleyway down the side of a garage where he had first clapped eyes on his godfather. Sirius, at least, seemed to understand how Harry was feeling; admittedly his letters were just as empty of proper news as Ron and Hermione's, but at least they contained words of caution and consolation instead of tantalizing hints.**

**"I know this must be frustrating for you…" Keep your nose clean and everything will be okay…" Be careful and don't do anything rash…"**

Remus snorted, "A bit hypocritical, hmmm Padfoot?"

"My thoughts exactly" exclaimed Harry

**Well, thought Harry, as he crossed Magnolia Crescent, turned into Magnolia Road, and headed toward the darkening play park, he had (by and large) done as Sirius advised; he had at least resisted the temptation to tie his trunk to his broomstick and set off for the Burrow by himself.**

"That would've been funny", said Neville, "because the Burrow would be empty"

"How many times: MONTHS AGO!"

Ginny grinned," A couple more times… Oh and a bit louder, Harry… I don't think they quite heard you in the Slytherin Common rooms yet"

Harry shook his head ruefully, resigned to everyone teasing him.

**In fact Harry thought his behavior had been very good considering how frustrated and angry he felt at being stuck in Privet Drive this long, reduced to hiding in flower beds in the hope of hearing something that might point to what Lord Voldemort was doing. Nevertheless, it was quite galling to be told not to be rash by a man who had served twelve years in the wizard prison, Azkaban, escaped, attempted to commit the murder he had been convicted for in the first place, then gone on the run with a hippogriff.**

Sirius shook his head and grinned," You've got a way with words."

"I try"

**Harry vaulted over the locked park gate and set off across the parched grass. The park was as empty as the surrounding streets. When he reached the swings he sank onto the only one that Dudley and his friends had not yet managed to break, coiled one arm around the chain, and stared moodily at the ground.**

**He would not be able to hide in the Dursley's flower bed again. Tomorrow he would have to think of some fresh way of listening to the news. In the meantime, he had nothing to look forward to but another restless, disturbed night, because even when he escaped nightmares about Cedric he had unsettling dreams about long dark corridors, all finishing in dead ends and locked doors, which he supposed had something to do with the trapped feeling he had when he was awake.**

**Often the old scar on his forehead pricked uncomfortably, but he did not fool himself that Ron or Hermione or Sirius would find that very interesting anymore… In the past his scar hurting had warned that Voldemort was getting stronger again, but now that Voldemort,** **was back they would probably remind him that its regular irritation was only to be expected….Nothing to worry about…old news….**

**The injustice of it all welled up inside him so that he wanted to yell with fury. It I hasn't been for him, nobody would even have known Voldemort was back!**

**He did not know how long he had sat on the swing before the sound of voices interrupted his musings and he looked up. The streetlamps from the surrounding roads were casting a misty glow strong enough to silhouette a group of people making their way across the park. One of them was singing a loud, crude song. The others were laughing. A soft ticking noise came from several expensive racing bikes that they were wheeling along.**

**Dudley was as vast as ever, but a year's hard dieting and the discovery of a new talent had wrought quite a change in his physique. As Uncle Vernon delightedly told anyone who would listen, Dudley had recently become the Junior Heavyweight Inter-School Boxing Champion of the Southeast. "The noble sport," as Uncle Vernon called it,**

"Barbaric" said Professor McGonagall

**had made Dudley even more formidable than he had seemed to Harry in the primary school days when he had served as Dudley's first punching bag.**

**Harry was not remotely afraid of his cousin anymore**

"Facing Voldemort several times and surviving does that to you"

Sirius and Ginny both poked Harry at the same time and said," Don't joke about that."

Sirius stared at her in surprise and she turned slightly red.

**but he didn't think that Dudley learning to punch harder and more accurately was cause for celebration. Neighborhood children all around were terrified of him, even more terrified than they were of "that Potter boy" who, they had been warned, was a hardened hooligan who attended St. Brutus's Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Boys.**

**Harry watched the dark figures crossing the grass and wondered whom they had been beating up tonight. Look round, Harry found himself thinking as he watched them. Come on…look round…I'm sitting here all alone… Come and have a go…**

"Don't pick a fight, Harry," said Mrs. Weasley

"I'm not though," said Harry," I'm just really, really bored."

**If Dudley's friends saw him sitting here, they would be sure to make a beeline for him, and what would Dudley do then? He wouldn't want to lose face in front of the gang but he'd be terrified of provoking Harry…It would really be fun to watch Dudley's dilemma; to taunt him, watch him, with him powerless to respond…and if any of the others tried hitting Harry, Harry was ready, he had his wand…let them try… He'd love to vent some of his frustration on the boys who had once made his life hell.**

**But they did not turn around, they did not see him, they were almost at the railings. Harry mastered the impulse to call after them. Seeking a fight was not a smart move...He must not use magic…He would be risking expulsion again….**

"See" said Harry

**Dudley's gang's voices died; they were out of sight, heading along Magnolia Road.**

**There you go, Sirius. Harry thought dully. Nothing rash. Kept my nose clean. Exactly the opposite of what you'd have done…**

"You think so lowly of me?" said Sirius with mock-sad expression

"Lowly? You would have my utmost respect if you cursed Dudley!"

**He got to his feet and stretched. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon seemed to feel that that whenever Dudley turned up was the right time to be home, and anytime after that was much too late.**

**Uncle Vernon had threatened to lock Harry in the shed if he came home after Dudley again, so, stifling a yawn, still scowling, Harry set off toward the park gate.**

**Magnolia Road, like Privet Drive was full of large, square houses with perfectly manicured lawns, all owned by large square owners who drove very clean cars similar to Uncle Vernon's.**

**Harry preferred Little Whinging by night, when the curtain windows made patches of jewel-bright colors in the darkness and he ran no danger of hearing disapproving mutters about his "delinquent" appearance when he passed the householders. He walked quickly, so that halfway along Magnolia Road Dudley's gang came into view again; they were saying their farewells at the entrance of Magnolia Crescent. Harry stepped into the shadow of a large lilac tree and waited.**

**"…squealed like a pig, didn't he?" Malcolm was saying, to guffaws from the others.**

**"Nice right hook, Big D," said Piers.**

"Big D?" asked Ginny, with a sneer worthy of Snape.

Harry grinned, "That's what I said!"

**"Same time tomorrow?" said Dudley.**

**"Round at my place, my parents are out," said Gordon.**

**"See you then," said Dudley.**

**"Bye Dud!"**

**"See ya Big D!"**

**Harry waited for the rest of the gang to move on before setting off again. When their voices had faded once more he headed around the corner into Magnolia Crescent and by walking very quickly he soon came within hailing distance of Dudley, who was strolling along at his ease, humming tunelessly**

**"Hey, Big D!"**

**Dudley turned**

**"Oh," he grunted, "It's you."**

**"How long have been Big D then?" said Harry.**

**"Shut it," snarled Dudley turning away again.**

**"Cool name" said Harry, grinning and falling into step beside his cousin. "But you'll always be Ickle Diddykins to me."**

Ginny laughed," I should have known this was what you meant…"

**"I said, SHUT IT!" said Dudley, whose ham-like hands had curled into fists.**

**"Don't the boys know that's what your mum calls you?"**

**"Shut your face."**

"So eloquent" snickered Sirius

**"You don't tell her to shut her face. What about "Popkin" and "Dinky Diddydums," can I use them too?"**

Everyone was nearly in stitches and Harry mused aloud, "Kind of makes me glad that she doesn't 'love' me enough to give me nicknames…"

**Dudley said nothing. The effort of keeping himself from hitting Harry seemed to be demanding all of his self-control.**

**"So, who've you been beating up tonight?" Harry asked, his grin fading. "Another ten-year-old? I know you did Mark Evans two nights ago."**

**"He was asking for it," snarled Dudley.**

**"Oh yeah?"**

**"He cheeked me."**

**"Yeah? Did he say you look like a pig that's been taught to walk on its hind legs? 'Cause that's not cheek, Dud, that's true."**

"I pity him," said Sirius, his lips twitching, "He's getting the full blast of the Evans' temper with James' cheek"

**A muscle was twitching in Dudley's jaw. It gave Harry enormous satisfaction to know how furious he was making Dudley; he felt as though he was siphoning off his own frustration into his cousin, the only outlet he had.**

"I have to say, I quite a agree with the outlet…"

**They turned right down the narrow alleyway where Harry had first seen Sirius and which formed a shortcut between Magnolia Crescent and Wisteria Walk. It was empty and much darker than the streets it linked because there were no streetlamps. Their footsteps were muffled between garage walls on one side and a high fence on the other.**

**"Think you're a big man carrying that thing, don't you?" Dudley said after a few seconds.**

**"What thing?"**

**"That, that thing you're hiding."**

**Harry grinned again.**

**"Not as stupid as you look, are you Dud? But s'pose if you were, you wouldn't be able to walk and talk at the same time…"**

**Harry pulled out his wand. He saw Dudley look sideways at it.**

**"You're not allowed," Dudley said at once. "I know you're not. You'd get expelled from that freak school you go to."**

**"How d'you know they haven't changed the rules, Big D?"**

**"They haven't," said Dudley thought he didn't sound completely convinced. Harry laughed softly.**

Ron shivered. "Bloody creepy." All the teenagers nodded vigorously.

"Language" said Mrs. Weasley

**"You haven't got the guts to take me on without that thing, have you?" Dudley snarled.**

**"Whereas you just need four mates behind you before you can beat up a ten-year-old. You know that boxing title you keep banging on about? How old was your opponent? Seven? Eight?"**

**"He was sixteen for your information," snarled Dudley, "and he was out cold for twenty minutes after I'd finished with him and he was twice as heavy as you. You just wait till I tell Dad you had that thing out."**

**"Running to Daddy now, are you? Is his ickle boxing champ frightened of nasty Harry's wand?"**

" He reminds me of Malfoy," said Ron musingly," Except, he's like, you know…fat and …whale-ish"

"Oh, Merlin," said Ginny," For a second I though you were comparing Harry to Malfoy…"

"Ugh…No"

**"Not this brave at night, are you?" sneered Dudley.**

**"This is night, Diddykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this."**

"Remind me never to piss you off…" said Sirius shuddering

Moody, err, laughed, "If you still need reminding after this summer, Black then you're stupider then I thought"

Sirius glared at him.

**"I mean when you're in bed!" Dudley snarled.**

**He had stopped walking. Harry stopped too, staring at his cousin. From the little he could see of Dudley's large face, he was wearing a strangely triumphant smile.**

**"What d'you mean, I'm not brave in bed?" said Harry completely nonplussed.**

**"What, am I supposed to be frightened of pillows or something?"**

"Exactly," said Neville, frowning," What are you supposed to be afraid of? And why is he so triumphant?"

Harry's face was slightly white," Yeah, well, he was right… in a weird and slightly messed up way"

**"I heard you last night," said Dudley breathlessly. "Talking in your sleep. Moaning."**

**"What d'you mean?" Harry said again, but there was a cold, plunging sensation in his stomach. He had revisited the graveyard last night in his dreams.**

**Dudley gave a harsh bark of laughter then adopted a high-pitched whimpering voice. "Don't kill Cedric! Don't kill Cedric! Who's Cedric, your boyfriend?"**

**"I…you're lying…" said Harry automatically. But his mouth had gone dry. He knew Dudley wasn't lying, how else would he knew about Cedric?**

**"Dad! Help me, Dad! He's going to kill me, Dad! Boo-hoo!"**

**"Shut up," said Harry quietly. "Shut up, Dudley, I'm warning you!"**

**"Come and help me, Dad! Mum, come and help me!"**

"Oh, he's horrible," said Hermione, "I wish I could curse him…"

"What, and break the law?" said Harry

"It would almost be worth it," seeing their disbelieving stares, she said again, "almost."

**Dudley backed into the alley wall. Harry was pointing the wand directly at Dudley's heart. Harry could feel fourteen years' hatred of Dudley pounding in his veins, what wouldn't he give to strike now, to jinx Dudley so thoroughly he'd have to crawl home like an insect, struck dumb, sprouting feelers…**

"Don't be stupid Potter," growled Moody. "As you already said, you can't risk expulsion again."

"Okay… Number one, this was months ago, I obviously didn't do it. Number two; I risked expulsion anyway, so it really doesn't matter."

"Cursing a mug-" Moody's voce was drowned out by Ron reading.

**"Don't ever talk about that again," Harry snarled. "D'you understand me?"**

**"Point that thing somewhere else!"**

**"I said: do you understand me?"**

**"Point it somewhere else!"**

**"DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"**

**"GET THAT THING AWAY FROM…"**

**Dudley gave an odd, shuddering gasp, as though he had been doused in icy water.**

"Do you think the Wrackspurts got him?" said Luna, looking quite concerned.

"I wish," said Harry darkly.

**Something had happened to the night. The star-strewn indigo sky was suddenly pitch-black and lightless, the stars, the moon, the many streetlamps at either end of the alley had vanished. The distant grumble of cars and the whisper of trees had gone. The balmy evening was suddenly piercingly, bitingly cold. They were surrounded by total, impenetrable, silent darkness as though some giant hand had dropped a thick, icy mantle over the entire alleyway, blinding them.**

"Nice description, mate"

**For a split second Harry thought he had done magic without meaning to, despite the fact that he'd been resisting as hard as he could, then his reason caught up with his instincts, he didn't have the power to turn off the stars. He turned his head this way and that, trying to see something, but the darkness pressed on his eyes like a weightless veil.**

**Dudley's terrified voice broke in Harry's ear.**

**"W-what are you d-doing? St-stop it!"**

**"I'm not doing anything! Shut up and don't' move!"**

**"I c-can't see! I've g-gone blind! I…"**

**"I said shut up!"**

**Harry stood stock-still, turning his sightless eyes left and right. The cold was so intense that he was shivering all over; goose bumps had erupted up his arms and the hairs on the back of his neck were standing up, he opened his eyes to their fullest extent, staring blankly around, unseeing…**

**It was impossible…They couldn't be here…Not in Little Whinging…He strained his ears…He would hear them before he saw them….**

Remus cringed, he knew what Harry meant...

**"I'll t-tell Dad!" Dudley whimpered. "W-where are you? What are you d-do-?"**

**"Will you shut up?" Harry hissed, "I'm trying to lis-"**

**But he fell silent. He had heard just the thing he had been dreading.**

**There was something in the alleyway apart from themselves, something that was drawing long, hoarse, rattling breaths. Harry felt a horrible jolt of dread as he stood trembling in the freezing air.**

**"C-cut it out! Stop doing it! I'll h-hit you, I swear I will!"**

**"Dudley, shut-"**

**WHAM!**

"He hit you!" cried Hermione looking murderous. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"Slipped my mind I guess…"

"How does something like _that_ slip your mind?"

"When there is something like imminent expulsion on it!"

"Oh," said Hermione sheepishly. "Right."

**A fist made contact with the side of Harry's head, lifting Harry off his feet. Small white lights popped in front of Harry's eyes; for the second time in an hour he felt as though his head had been cleaved in two; next moment he had landed hard on the ground and his wand had flown out of his hand.**

**"You moron, Dudley!" Harry yelled, his eyes watering with pain, as he scrambled to his hands and knees, now feeling around frantically in the blackness. He heard Dudley blundering away, hitting the alley fence, stumbling.**

"DUDLEY, COME BACK! YOU'RE RUNNING RIGHT AT IT!"

**There was a horrible squealing yell, and Dudley's footsteps stopped. At the same moment. Harry felt a creeping chill behind him that could mean only one thing. There was more than one.**

**"DUDLEY, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! WHATEVER YOU DO, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! Wand!" Harry muttered frantically over the ground like spiders. "Where's- wand- come on- Lumos!"**

He said the spell automatically, desperate for light to help him in his search and to his disbelieving relief, light flared inches from his right hand- the wand tip had ignited.

"Wow Harry!" said Hermione. "That's amazing wand less magic!"

"The wand was right there though…" mumbled Harry embarrassedly.

"Still," said Bill. "There are NEWT level students who can't do that."

**Harry snatched it up, scrambled to his feet, and turned around.**

His stomach turned over.

A towering, hooded figure was gliding smoothly toward him., hovering over the ground, no feet or face visible beneath its robes sucking on the night as it came.

**Stumbling backward, Harry raised his wand.**

**"Expecto Patronum!"**

**A silvery wisp of vapor shot from the tip of the wand and the Dementor slowed, but the spell hadn't worked properly; tripping over his feet, Harry retreated farther as the Dementor bore down upon him, panic fogging his brain. -concentrate-**

"Come on Harry!"

"I'm still alive, idiot!"

**A pair of gray, slimy, scabbed hands slid from inside the Dementors robes, reaching for him. A rushing noise filled Harry's ears.**

**"Expecto Patronum!"**

**His voice sounded dim and distant…Another wisp of silver smoke, feebler than the last, drifted from the wand- he couldn't do it anymore he couldn't work the spell.**

**There was laughter inside his own head, shrill, high-pitched laughter…He could smell the Dementors putrid, death-cold break filling his own lungs drowning him- Think…something happy…**

**But there was no happiness in him…The Dementors icy fingers were closing on his throat- the high-pitched laughter was growing louder and louder and a voice spoke inside his head.- "Bow to death, Harry…it might even be painless…I would not know…I have never died…"**

"That's what you hear?" said Ron, horrified," I thought, you know, your-"

"Well apparently this one is worse, because it changed." Harry replied shortly

**He was never going to see Ron and Hermione again-**

**And their faces burst clearly into his mind as he fought for breath**

"Well," said Arthur mildly. "That'll work."

Hermione had hugged Harry and to their credit, no-one made fun of her, not that the twins didn't want to.

**"EXPECTO PATRONUM!"**

Cheers rang throughout the room.

"You already knew I did it, though," said Harry with a bemused smile.

"Oh, shut up, Harry."

**An enormous silver stag erupted from the tip of Harry's wand; its antlers caught the Dementor where the heart should have been; it was thrown backward, weightless as darkness and as the stag charged the Dementor swooped away, batlike and defeated.**

**"THIS WAY!" Harry shouted at the stag. Wheeling around he sprinted down the alleyway, holding the lit wand aloft. "DUDLEY? DUDLEY!"**

**He had run barely a dozen steps when he reached them: Dudley was curled on the ground, his arms clamped over his face; a second Dementor was crouching low over him, gripping his wrists in its slimy hands, prizing them slowly, almost lovingly apart, lowering its hooded head toward Dudley's face as though about to kiss him…**

**"GET IT!" Harry bellowed, and with a rushing, roaring sound, the silver stag he had conjured came galloping back past him. The Dementors eyeless face was barely an inch from Dudley's when the silver antlers caught it; the thing was thrown up in the air and, like its fellow, it soared away and was absorbed into the darkness. The stag cantered to the end of the alleyway and dissolved into the mist.**

**Moon, stars, and streetlamps burst back into life. A warm breeze swept the alleyway. Trees rustled in neighboring gardens and the mundane rumble of cars in Magnolia Crescent filled the air again. Harry stood quite still, all his senses vibrating, taking in the abrupt return to normality. After a moment, he became aware that his T-shirt was sticking to him; he was drenched in sweat.**

**He could not believe what had just happened. Dementors here in Little Whinging…**

**Dudley lay curled up on the ground, whimpering and shaking. Harry bent down to see whether he was in a fit state to stand up, but then heard loud, running footsteps behind him; instinctively raising his wand again, he spun on his heel to face the newcomer.**

"Good, Potter," said Moody gruffly. "You never know who it is."

"How do you do that?" said Sirius curiously

Everybody turned to him and he elaborated, "That growling thing, you always sounds like that."

Harry laughed, "You're so weird Sirius."

**Mrs. Figg, their batty old neighbor, came panting into sight. Her grizzled gray hair was escaping from its hairnet, a clanking string shopping bag was swinging from her wrist and her feet were halfway out of her tartan carpet slippers. Harry made to stow his wand hurriedly out of sight, but-**

**"Don't put it away, idiot boy!" she shrieked. "What if there are more of them around? Oh I'm going to kill Mundungus Fletcher!"**

"She wasn't the only one, Mum nearly murder him," said Ron quietly to Harry

"With good reason muttered Sirius angrily, "A couple of dodgy cauldrons more important then my godson's life."

"Wow," said Harry, "I never thought I'd see the day."

What day?" said Remus

"The day Sirius acts responsible…"

"HEY! I can be responsible!"

"I know, right?"

To stop the argument Hermione grabbed the book and read,**" Chapter Two: A Peck of Owls"**


	3. Peck of Owls

**It's me, Black, and I just want to say that pretty much all praise for this chapter goes to Ruby. I just did a little bit of the top, a few sentences in the middle, and the last one. So she's the one that did everything else, and she did a wonderful job.**

_Ruby. Black here has a tendency to lie. Don't mind her. No praise to me. I might have done a wonderful job- did I say I? I meant we did a wonderful job. I don't know… You'll just have to review and tell me, won't you?_

_Cheers._

_And review._

Ron glanced around the room, hoping someone would offer to read the next chapter but he knew Fred and George would tease him mercilessly. He really didn't know why they would tease, but he knew they would. He just knew it.

**Chapter Two: A Peck of Owls**

Molly looked at Fred, George, Mundungus and Sirius. Ron thought it was really impressive to glare at four people at a time sitting in four different spots.

**"What?" said Harry blankly.**

"Such a way with words," said George.

"Yes, George," replied Fred. "Our Harry is amazing with his ability to put words together and create a symphony of wit and wonder."

Harry just rolled his eyes.

**"He left!" said Mrs. Figg, wringing her hands. "Left to see someone about a batch of cauldrons that fell off the back of a broom! I told him I'd flay him alive if he went and now look! Dementors! It's just lucky I put Mr. Tibbles on the case! But we haven't got time to stand around! Hurry now, we've got to get you back! Oh, the trouble this is going to cause! I will kill him!"**

Every single adult in the room, minus Snape and plus Hermione, turned toward Mundungus and glared. Mundungus meanwhile was trying to crawl under the table and into oblivion.

**"Wait!" Harry shouted after her; he had a million questions to ask anyone who was in contact with Dumbledore; but within seconds Mrs. Figg was swallowed by darkness. Scowling, Harry readjusted Dudley on his shoulder and made his slow, painful way up number four's garden path.**

Draco shifted uncomfortably. From the stories he'd heard, carrying around Dudley Dursley would be hell. Draco wasn't sure if he could have done it like Potter. Draco was going to start working out tomorrow.

**The hall light was on. Harry stuck his wand back inside the waistband of his jeans, rang the bell and watched Aunt Petunia's outline grow larger and larger, oddly distorted by the rippling glass in the front door.**

Sirius frowned. "You know, Harry, you can be really specific in these books."

"According to the cover, I didn't write them. Someone named J.K. Rowling did."

"Harry it isn't nice to blame your own faults on someone else."

"Shut up Remus. And aren't you supposed to be the good one?"

"Compared to Sirius? Yes. Compared to the rest of the world? No."

**"Diddy! About time too, I was getting quite - quite -Diddy, what's the matter!"**

**Harry looked sideways at Dudley and ducked out from under his arm just in time. Dudley swayed on the spot for a moment, his face pale green… then he opened his mouth and vomited all over the doormat.**

**"DIDDY! Diddy, what's the matter with you? Vernon? VERNON!"**

"What a drama queen," said Hestia, scoffing.

"You are absolutely right, Hest," grinned Sirius.

"I told you not to call me that!"

"Whatever you say, Hest."

Harry watched curiously as the pair continued to bicker, he tuned to Remus, "Do they know each other?"

Remus had something vaguely reminiscent of a smirk on his face. "You could say so."

Harry looked, if anything, even more confused, but the look on Remus' face told him he wouldn't finding out anytime soon.

**Harry's uncle came galumphing out of the living room, walrus moustache blowing hither and thither as it always did when he was agitated. He hurried forwards to help Aunt Petunia negotiate a weak-kneed Dudley over the threshold while avoiding stepping in the pool of sick.**

**"He's ill, Vernon!"**

**"What is it, son? What's happened? Did Mrs. Polkiss give you something foreign for tea?"**

**"Why are you all covered in dirt, darling? Have you been lying on the ground?"**

**"Hang on - you haven't been mugged, have you, son?"**

**Aunt Petunia screamed.**

Hestia, who had evidently stopped arguing with Sirius, nodded and repeated, "Drama. Queen."

Emmeline sighed, "We get it."

Hestia looked mildly insulted, "I'm making a point."

"You made it a while ago. I do believe it was in our seventh year, actually," said Remus.  
Hestia grinned at the memory, leaving everyone else quite confused, especially Harry.

**"Phone the police, Vernon! Phone the police! Diddy, darling, speak to Mummy! What did they do to you?"**

**In all the kerfuffle nobody seemed to have noticed Harry, which suited him perfectly. He managed to slip inside just before Uncle Vernon slammed the door and, while the Dursleys made their noisy progress down the hall towards the kitchen, Harry moved carefully and quietly towards the stairs.**

**"Who did it, son? Give us names. We'll get them, don't worry."**

**"Shh! He's trying to say something, Vernon! What is it, Diddy? Tell Mummy!"**

**Harry's foot was on the bottom-most stair when Dudley found his voice.**

**"Him."**

Sirius swore and Molly looked over at him sternly. "Language, Sirius, there are children present!"

Sirius did not look the least bit concerned that Molly was glaring at him and responded sourly,

"Children who have probably heard worse language."

"It doesn't mean they should hear more!"

"Open your eyes! They -"

Harry, who had watched the argument enough to know it was escalating turned to Ron and gestured to keep reading.

**Harry froze, foot on the stair, face screwed up, braced for the explosion.**

**"BOY! COME HERE!"**

**With a feeling of mingled dread and anger, Harry removed his foot slowly from the stair and turned to follow the Dursleys.**

**The scrupulously clean kitchen had an oddly unreal glitter after the darkness outside. Aunt Petunia was ushering Dudley into a chair; he was still very green and clammy looking. Uncle Vernon was standing in front of the draining board, glaring at Harry through tiny, narrow eyes.**

**"What have you done to my son?" he said in a menacing growl.**

**"Nothing," said Harry, knowing perfectly well that Uncle Vernon wouldn't believe him.**

**"What did he do to you Diddy?" Aunt Petunia said in a quavering voice, now sponging sick from the front of Dudley's leather jacket. Was it- was it you-know-what, darling? Did he use- his thing?"**

**Slowly, tremulously, Dudley nodded.**

**"I didn't!" Harry said sharply, as Aunt Petunia let out a wail and Uncle Vernon raised his fists. "I didn't do anything to him, it wasn't me, it was –"**

**But at that precise moment a screech owl swooped in through the kitchen window. **  
**Narrowly missing the top of Uncle Vernon's head, it soared across the kitchen, dropped the large parchment envelope it was carrying in its beak at Harry's feet, turned gracefully, the tips of its wings just brushing the top of the fridge, then zoomed outside again and off across the garden.**

**"OWLS!" bellowed Uncle Vernon, the well-worn vein in his temple pulsing angrily as he slammed the kitchen window shut. "OWLS AGAIN! I WILL NOT HAVE ANY MORE OWLS IN MY HOUSE!"**

"Well worn vein," said Remus raising an eyebrow. "That can't be healthy."

"One can only hope," said Sirius menacingly.

**But Harry was already ripping open the envelope and pulling out the letter inside, his heart pounding somewhere in the region of his Adam's apple.**

**Dear Mr. Potter,**

**We have received intelligence that you performed the Patronus Charm at twenty-three minutes past nine this evening in a Muggle-inhabited area and in the presence of a Muggle.**

"Well," said Charlie. "They're efficient at one thing, at least."

"Yeah," said Fred. "Telling the time."

"Very useful," added George.

**The severity of this breach of the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery has resulted in your expulsion from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.**  
**Ministry representatives will be calling at your place of residence shortly to destroy your wand.**

**As you have already received an official warning for a previous offence under Section 13 of the International Confederation of Warlocks' Statute of Secrecy, we regret to inform you that your presence is required at a disciplinary hearing at the Ministry of Magic at 9 a.m. on the twelfth of August.**

**Hoping you are well,**

**Yours sincerely,**

**Mafalda Hopkirk**

**Improper Use of Magic Office**

**Ministry of Magic**

**Harry read the letter through twice. He was only vaguely aware of Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia talking. Inside his head, all was icy and numb. One fact had penetrated his consciousness like a paralyzing dart. He was expelled from Hogwarts. It was all over. He was never going back.**

**He looked up at the Dursleys. Uncle Vernon was purple-faced, shouting, his fists still raised; Aunt Petunia had her arms around Dudley, who was retching again.**

**Harry's temporarily stupefied brain seemed to reawaken.**

"Oh," said Luna, seemingly awakening. "That doesn't sound good, maybe you should have it checked out."

"Err, yeah," said Harry, working to make himself heard over Ron's laughter. "I'll keep that in mind."

**Ministry representatives will be calling at your place of residence shortly to destroy your wand. There was only one thing for it. He would have to run - now.**

**Where he was going to go, Harry didn't know, but he was certain of one thing; At Hogwarts or outside it, he needed his wand. In an almost dreamlike state, he pulled his wand out and turned to leave the kitchen.**

**"Where d'you think you're going?" yelled Uncle Vernon. When Harry didn't reply, he pounded across the kitchen to block the doorway into the hall. "I haven't finished with you, boy!"**

**"Get out of the way," said Harry quietly.**

"Oooh," said Ron. "That's scary"

Ginny nodded, "An angry Harry facing you with his wand."

**"You're going to stay here and explain how my son-"**

**"If you don't get out of the way I'm going to jinx you," said Harry, raising the wand.**

**"You can't pull that one on me!" snarled Uncle Vernon. "I know you're not allowed to use it outside that madhouse you call a school!"**

**"The madhouse has chucked me out," said Harry. "So I can do whatever I like. You've got three seconds. One - two -"**

**A resounding CRACK filled the kitchen. Aunt Petunia screamed, Uncle Vernon yelled and ducked, but for the third time that night Harry was searching for the source of a disturbance he had not made. He spotted it at once: a dazed and ruffled-looking barn owl was sitting outside on the kitchen sill, having just collided with the closed window.**

"Errol," Ron groaned.

**Ignoring Uncle Vernon's anguished yell of 'OWLS!'**

_"This man really needs to learn how to put things into perspective,"_Neville thought. He was a bit jolted then by what Luna said next.

"This man really needs to learn how to put things into perspective."

**Harry crossed the room at a run and wrenched the window open. The owl stuck out its leg, to which a small roll of parchment was tied, shook its leathers, and took off the moment Harry had taken the letter. Hands shaking, Harry unfurled the second message, which was written very hastily and blotchily in black ink.**

**Harry-**

**Dumbledore's just arrived at the Ministry and he's trying to sort it all out. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR AUNT AND UNCLE'S HOUSE.**

**DO NOT DO ANY MORE MAGIC. DO NOT SURRENDER YOUR WAND.**

**Arthur Weasley**

"And you couldn't tell me more," Harry said sarcastically. Ginny poked him there as Arthur blushed and tried to explain.

"Really, Harry, that was all I knew too. If I knew more I would have told you."

Harry nodded. He knew that, but he still didn't like it.

**Dumbledore was trying to sort it all out… what did that mean? How much power did Dumbledore have to override the Ministry of Magic?**

"I still have enough," said Dumbledore.

"I noticed" replied Harry coolly, not bothering to look at him.

_"Let's see how he likes it..."_

**Was there a chance that he might be allowed back to Hogwarts, then? A small shoot of hope burgeoned in Harry's chest, almost immediately strangled by panic – how was he supposed to refuse to surrender his wand without doing magic? He'd have to duel with the Ministry representatives and if he did that he'd be lucky to escape Azkaban, let alone expulsion.**

Ron gave a loud cough that sounded oddly like "Pessimist"

Harry glared at him and then Sirius ruffled his hair, "Ah, don't worry Harry, you could always copy your smart godfather and break out!"

Harry stared at him blankly, "I don't have a smart godfather."

"Hey! I'm smart."

"Sure you are, Padfoot," said Remus having recovered from his laughter.

**His mind was racing…He could run for it and risk being captured by the Ministry, or stay put and wait for them to find him here. He was much more tempted by the former course, but he knew that Mr. Weasley had his best interests at heart…and after all, Dumbledore had sorted out much worse than this before…**

**"Right," Harry said, "I've changed my mind, I'm staying."**

**He flung himself down at the kitchen table and faced Dudley and Aunt Petunia. The Dursleys appeared taken back at his abrupt change of mind. Aunt Petunia glanced despairingly at Uncle Vernon. The vein in Uncle Vernon's purple temple was throbbing worse than ever.**

**"The first one was from the Ministry of Magic, expelling me," said Harry calmly; he was straining his ears to catch noises outside in case the Ministry representatives were approaching, and it was easier and quieter to answer Uncle Vernon's questions than to have him start raging and bellowing. "The second one was from my friend Ron's dad, he works at the Ministry."**

**"Ministry of Magic?" bellowed Uncle Vernon. "People like you in government? Oh this explains everything, everything, no wonder the country's going to the dogs…"**

"There isn't anything wrong with dogs," said Sirius in mock-offense.

At the same time as Draco said, "Stupid muggle."

Harry looked up at him. "You are absolutely right."

**When Harry did not respond, Uncle Vernon glared at him, then spat "And why have you been expelled?"**

**"Because I did magic."**

Bil dropped his head into his hands, "Nice, Harry."

"I thought so."

**"AHA!" roared Uncle Vernon, slamming his fist down on the top of the fridge, which sprang open; several of Dudley's low-fat snacks toppled out and burst on the floor. "So you admit it! What did you do to Dudley?"**

Charlie snorted, "Low fat, I'm sure."

**"Nothing," said Harry slightly less calmly. "That wasn't me-"**

**"Was," muttered Dudley unexpectedly, and Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia instantly made flapping gestures at Harry to quiet him while they both bent over Dudley.**

**"Go on, son," said Uncle Vernon, "what did he do?"**

**"Tell us, darling ," whispered Aunt Petunia.**

**"Pointed his wand at me," Dudley mumbled.**

**"Yeah, I did, but I didn't use -" Harry began angrily, but –**

**"SHUT UP!" roared Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia in unison.**

**"Go on, son," repeated Uncle Vernon, moustache blowing about furiously.**

**"All went dark," Dudley said hoarsely, shuddering. "Everything dark. And then I h-heard… things. Inside m-my head."**

**Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia exchanged looks of utter horror. If their least favorite thing in the world was magic - closely followed by neighbors who cheated more than they did on the hosepipe ban - people who heard voices were definitely in the bottom ten. **

"Lovely people."

**They obviously thought Dudley was losing his mind**

**What sort of things did you hear, Popkin?" breathed Aunt Petunia, very white-faced and with tears in her eyes.**

**But Dudley seemed incapable of saying. He shuddered again and shook his large blond head, and despite the sense of numb dread that had settled on Harry since the arrival of the first owl, he felt a certain curiosity. Dementors caused a person to relive the worst moments of their life. What would spoiled, pampered, bullying Dudley have been forced to hear?**

"Sometimes," said Remus, "being the bully is worse than being the victim."

"You would know," sneered Snape.

Sirius looked suddenly angry, "Shut up Snivellus!"

**"How come you fell over, son?" said Uncle Vernon, in an unnaturally quiet voice, the kind of voice he might adopt at the bedside of a very ill person.**

"Oh," said Hermione sounding surprised, "So he does know the definition of tact."

Harry snorted. "Depends on who the person is," he said darkly.

No one knew how to respond so Ron continued.

**"T-tripped," said Dudley shakily. "And then –"**

**He gestured at his massive chest. Harry understood. Dudley was remembering the clammy cold that filled the lungs as hope and happiness were sucked out of you.**

**"Horrible," croaked Dudley. "Cold. Really cold."**

**"Okay," said Uncle Vernon in a voice of forced calm, while Aunt Petunia laid an anxious hand on Dudley's forehead to feel his temperature. "What happened then, Dudders?"**

**"Felt...felt...felt…as if…as if…."**

**"As if you'd never be happy again," Harry supplied dully.**

Harry shuddered, "I love Patronuses."

**"So," said Uncle Vernon, voice restored to full and considerable volume as he straightened up. "So you put some crackpot spell on my son so he'd hear voices and believe he was- was doomed to misery or something, didn't you?"**

**"How many times do I have to tell you?" said Harry, temper and voice rising together. "It wasn't me! It was a couple of dementors!"**

**"A couple of- what's this codswallop?"**

**"De-men-tors," said Harry slowly and clearly. "Two of them."**

**"And what the ruddy hell are dementors?"**

**"They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban," said Aunt Petunia.**

Jaws dropped around the room. Emmeline found her voice first, "Excuse me?"

**Two seconds' ringing silence followed these words and then Aunt Petunia clapped her hand over her mouth as though she had let slip a disgusting swear word. Uncle Vernon was goggling at her. Harry's brain reeled. Mrs. Figg was one thing- but Aunt Petunia?**

**"How d'you know that?" he asked her, astonished.**

**Aunt Petunia looked quite appalled with herself. She glanced at Uncle Vernon in fearful apology, then lowered her hand slightly to reveal her horsey teeth.**

**"I heard- that awful boy-telling her about them- years ago," she said jerkily.**

**"If you mean my mum and dad, why don't you use their names?" said Harry loudly, but Aunt Petunia ignored him. She seemed horribly flustered.**

"I don't think she means James, Harry," said Remus slowly.

Harry looked confused. "But then who?"

He received no answer.

**Uncle Vernon opened his mouth, closed it again, opened it once more, shut it, then, apparently struggling to remember how to talk, opened it for a third time and croaked, **  
**"So - so - they - er - they - er - they actually exist, do they - er - Dementy-whatsits?"**

**Aunt Petunia nodded.**

**Uncle Vernon looked from Aunt Petunia to Dudley to Harry as if hoping somebody was going to shout 'April Fool!' When nobody did, he opened his mouth yet again, but was spared the struggle to find more words by the arrival of the third owl of the evening. It zoomed through the still-open window like a feathery cannon-ball and landed with a clatter on the kitchen table, causing all three of the Dursleys to jump with fright. Harry tore a second official-looking envelope from the owl's beak and ripped it open as the owl swooped back out into the night.**

**"Enough - effing - owls," muttered Uncle Vernon distractedly, stomping over to the window and slamming it shut again.**

Mrs. Weasley muttered something about language, but she was ignored.

**Dear Mr. Potter,**

**" Further to our letter of approximately twenty-two minutes ago, the Ministry of Magic has revised its decision to destroy your wand forthwith. You may retain your wand until your disciplinary hearing on the twelfth of August, at which time an official decision will be taken.**

**Following discussions with the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the Ministry has agreed that the question of your expulsion will also be decided at that time. You should therefore consider yourself suspended from school pending further enquiries.**

**With best wishes,**

**Yours sincerely,**

**Mafalda Hopkirk**

**Improper Use of Magic Office**

**Ministry of Magic**

**Harry read this letter through three times in quick succession. The miserable knot in his chest loosened slightly with the relief of Knowing he was not yet definitely expelled, though his fears were by no means banished. Everything seemed to hang on this hearing on the twelfth of August.**

**"Well?" said Uncle Vernon, recalling Harry to his surroundings. "What now? Have they sentenced you to anything? Do your lot have the death penalty?" he added as a hopeful afterthought.**

Moody looked around the room and almost laughed out loud. Ron looked almost afraid, as though he thought the book would burst into flames with all the glares it was receiving. Sirius' grip on Harry's shoulder was almost painful.

**"I've got to go to a hearing," said Harry.**

**"And they'll sentence you there?"**

**"I suppose so."**

**"I won't give up hope, then," said Uncle Vernon nastily.**

As much Ron wanted to, he didn't really feel like telling his mother "Language."

**"Well if that's all," said Harry, getting to his feet. He was desperate to be alone, to think, perhaps to send a letter to Ron, Hermione, or Sirius.**

**"NO, IT RUDDY WELL IS NOT ALL!" bellowed Uncle Vernon. "SIT BACK DOWN!"**

**"What now?" said Harry impatiently.**

**"DUDLEY!" roared Uncle Vernon. "I want to know exactly what happened to my son!"**

**"FINE!" yelled Harry, and in his temper, red and gold sparks shot out of the end of his wand, still clutched in his hand.**

Professor Mcgonagall hid a smile. . . . _Gryffindor colours, she _thought.

The rest of the people in the room had no such restraints. . . . The other gryffindors had varied responses, ranging from loud cheers to secret smiles to rather negative reactions on the part of Snape.

**All three Dursleys flinched, looking terrified.**

Sirius looked positively gleeful.

**"Dudley and I were in the alleyway between Magnolia Crescent and Wisteria Walk," said Harry, speaking fast, fighting to control his temper. "Dudley thought he'd be smart with me, I pulled out my wand but didn't use it. Then two Dementors turned up —"**

**"But what ARE Dementoids?" asked Uncle Vernon furiously. "What do they DO?"**

"Dementoids," snorted Fred.

"What horrible English," sniffed George.

**"I told you - they suck all the happiness out of you," said Harry, "and if they get the chance, they kiss you -**

**"Kiss you?" said Uncle Vernon, his eyes popping slightly. "Kiss you?"**

**"It's what they call it when they suck the soul out of your mouth."**

**Aunt Petunia uttered a soft scream.**

**"His soul? They didn't take - he's still got his -"**

**She seized Dudley by the shoulders and shook him, as though testing to see whether she could hear his soul rattling around inside him.**

"Medical expert," said Hermione, rolling her eyes. "She must be."

**"Of course they didn't get his soul, you'd know if they had," said Harry, exasperated.**

**"Fought 'em off, did you, son?" said Uncle Vernon loudly, with the appearance of a man struggling to bring the conversation back on to a plane he understood. "Gave 'em the old one-two, did you?"**

**"You can't give a Dementor the old one-two," said Harry through clenched teeth.**

Ginny shook her head,. "I really don't know how you put up with them for the whole summer, Harry. I really don't."

"Look myself in my room. It works whenever my company is driving me mad. Of course, it doesn't work in Hogwarts since me and Ron share a do-"

"OI!"

**"Why's he all right, then?" blustered Uncle Vernon. "Why isn't he all empty, then?"**

**"Because I used the Patronus -"**

**WHOOSH. With a clattering, a whirring of wings and a soft fall of dust, a fourth owl came shooting out of the kitchen fireplace..**

**"FOR GOD'S SAKE!" roared Uncle Vernon, pulling great clumps of hair out of his moustache, something he hadn't been driven to do in a long time. "I WILL NOT HAVE OWLS HERE, I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS, I TELL YOU!"**

**But Harry was already pulling a roll of parchment from the owl's leg. He was so convinced that this letter had to be from Dumbledore, explaining everything - the Dementors, Mrs. Figg, what the Ministry was up to, how he, Dumbledore, intended to sort everything out - that for the first time in his life he was disappointed to see Sirius's handwriting.**

Sirius looked part amused and confused, "I don't know whether I should be flattered, insulted or just plain annoyed."

Fleur, Charlie and Snape answered at the same time with: "Annoyed," "Flattered," and "Insulted," respectively.

**Ignoring Uncle Vernon's ongoing rant about owls, and narrowing his eyes against a second cloud of dust as the most recent owl look off back up the chimney, Harry read Sirius's message.**

**Arthur's just told us what's happened. Don't leave the house again, whatever you do.**  
**Harry found this such an inadequate response to everything that had happened tonight that he turned the piece of parchment over, looking for the rest of the letter, but there was nothing else.**

**And now his temper was rising again. Wasn't anybody going to say 'well done' for fighting off two Dementors single-handed?**

"WELL DONE!" yelled the twins, Tonks and Sirius. Harry jumped and then turned around to glare at Sirius who only looked back innocently.

"I should've expected that," grumbled Harry.

**Both Mr. Weasley and Sirius were acting as though he'd misbehaved, and were saving their tellings-off until they could ascertain how much damage had been done.**

**"…A peck, I mean, pack of owls shooting in and out of my house. I won't have it, boy, I won't-"**

**"I can't stop the owls coming," Harry snapped, crushing Sirius's letter in his fist.**

"Ouch."

**"I want the truth about what happened tonight!" barked Uncle Vernon. "If it was Demenders who hurt Dudley, how come you've been expelled? You did you-know-what, you've admitted it!"**

**Harry took a deep, steadying breath. His head was beginning to ache again. He wanted more than anything to get out of the kitchen, and away from the Dursleys.**

**"I did the Patronus Charm to get rid of the Dementors," he said, forcing himself to remain calm.**

**"But what were Dementoids doing in Little Whinging?" said Uncle Vernon in an outraged tone.**

**"Couldn't tell you," said Harry wearily. "No idea."**

**His head was pounding in the glare of the strip-lighting now. His anger was ebbing away. He felt drained, exhausted. The Dursleys were all staring at him.**

**"It's you," said Uncle Vernon forcefully. "It's got something to do with you, boy, I know else would they turn up here? Why else would they be down that alleyway? You've got to be the only - the only " Evidently, he couldn't bring himself to say the word "wizard", the only you know-what for miles."**

**"I don't know why they were here."**

**But at Uncle Vernon's words, Harry's exhausted brain had ground back into action. Why had the Dementors come to Little Whinging? How could it be coincidence that they had arrived in the alleyway where Harry was? Had they been sent? Had the Ministry of Magic lost control of the Dementors? Had they deserted Azkaban and joined Voldemort, as Dumbledore had predicted they would?**

**"These Demembers guard some weirdo's prison?" asked Uncle Vernon, lumbering along in the wake of Harry's train of thought.**

**If only his head would stop hurting, if only he could just leave the kitchen and get to his dark bedroom and think…**

**"Oho! They were coming to arrest you!" said Uncle Vernon, with the triumphant air of a man reaching an unassailable conclusion. "That's it, isn't it, boy? You're on the run from the law!"**

"Oh for the love of Merlin," cried Hermione exasperatedly. Harry was sure that if she could, she would've started banging her head against the table, other people had apparently reached the same conclusion because the they were looking more than a little amused.

**"Of course I'm not," said Harry, shaking his head as though to scare off a fly, his mind racing now.**

**"Then why -?"**

**"He must have sent them," said Harry quietly, more to himself than to Uncle Vernon.**

**"What's that? Who must have sent them?"**

**"Lord Voldemort," said Harry.**

**He registered dimly how strange it was that the Dursleys, who flinched, winced and squawked if they heard words like 'wizard', 'magic' or 'wand', could hear the name of the most evil wizard of all time without the slightest tremor.**

"The same can evidently not be said for most of the Order of the Phoenix," said Harry dryly, glancing around the room, "The people who are actively working against Voldemort to ensure that he does not gain power cannot say his _name -_"

He was interrupted by Ginny covering his mouth with her hand, ignoring his outraged expression, she said, "Continue Ron, I've got this."

**"Lord - hang on," said Uncle Vernon, his face screwed up, a look of dawning comprehension coming into his piggy eyes. "I've heard that name… that was the one who —"**

**"Murdered my parents, yes," Harry said dully.**

**"But he's gone," said Uncle Vernon impatiently, without the slightest sign that the murder of Harry's parents might be a painful topic. "That giant bloke said so. He's gone."**

"I take back my comment," said Hermione, sniffing angrily. "No tact whatsoever."

**"He's back," said Harry heavily.**

**It felt very strange to be standing here in Aunt Petunia's surgically clean kitchen, beside the top of-the-range fridge and the wide-screen television, talking calmly of Lord Voldemort to Uncle Vernon. The arrival of the Dementors in Little Whinging seemed to have breached the great, invisible wall that divided the relentlessly non-magical world of Privet Drive and the world beyond, Harry's two lives had somehow become fused and everything had been turned upside-down; the Dursleys were asking for details about the magical world, and Mrs. Figg knew Albus Dumbledore; Dementors were soaring around Little Whinging, and he might never return to Hogwarts. Harry's head throbbed more painfully.**

**She was looking at Harry as she had never looked at him before. And all of a sudden, for the very first time in his life, Harry fully appreciated that Aunt Petunia was his mother's sister. He could not have said why this hit him so very powerfully at this moment. All he knew was that he was not the only person in the room who had an inkling of what Lord Voldemort being back might mean.**

**"Yes," Harry said, talking directly to Aunt Petunia now. "He came back a month ago. I saw him."**

**Her hands found Dudley's massive leather-clad shoulders and clutched them.**

**"Hang on," said Uncle Vernon, looking from his wife to Harry and back again, apparently dazed and confused by the unprecedented understanding that seemed to have sprung up between them.**

**"Hang on. This Lord Voldything's back, you say."**

Harry snorted, "How did I not notice that the first time round? I'll definitely use that one next time."

"There is going to be no next time" said Sirius.

Harry looked at him as though he was a bit dense and said, "Right."

Sirius narrowed his eyes at his godson and then suddenly looked at Ginny. "Wait- How'd you get rid of her hand?"

Ginny shrugged, "I got tired of holding it."

**"Yes."**

**"The one who murdered your parents."**

**"Yes."**

**"And now he's sending Dismembers after you?"**

**"Looks like it," said Harry.**

**"I see," said Uncle Vernon, looking from his white-faced wife to Harry and hitching up his trousers. He seemed to be swelling, his great purple face stretching before Harry's eyes. "Well, that settles it," he said, his shirt front straining as he inflated himself, "you can get out of this house, boy!"**

**"What?" said Harry.**

**"You heard me - OUT!" Uncle Vernon bellowed, and even Aunt Petunia and Dudley jumped.**

**"OUT! OUT! I should've done this years ago! Owls treating the place like a rest home, puddings exploding, half the lounge destroyed, Dudley's tail, Marge bobbing around on the ceiling and that flying Ford Anglia - OUT! OUT!**

Harry, Ron and Hermione started laughing while Molly looked murderous much to the others confusion.

**"You've had it! You're history! You're not staying here if some loony's after you, you're not endangering my wife and son, you're not bringing trouble down on us. If you're going the same way as your useless parents, I've had it! OUT!"**

Harry winced, "Oww... Sirius!"

Sirius retracted his hand as though burnt and Harry rotated his shoulder.

**Harry stood rooted to the spot. The letters from the Ministry, Mr. Weasley and Sirius were all crushed in his left hand. Don't leave the house again, whatever you do. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR AUNT AND UNCLE'S HOUSE.**

**"You heard me!" said Uncle Vernon, bending forward now, his massive purple face coming so close to Harry's, he actually felt flecks of spit hit his face. "Get going! You were all keen to leave half an hour ago! I'm right behind you! Get out and never darken our doorstep again! Why we ever kept you in the first place, I don't know, Marge was right, it should have been the orphanage. We were too damn soft for our own good, thought we could squash it out of you, thought we could turn you normal, but you've been rotten from the beginning and I've had enough - OWLS!"**

**The fifth owl zoomed down the chimney so fast it actually hit the floor before zooming into the air again with a loud screech. Harry raised his hand to seize the letter, which was in a scarlet envelope, but it soared straight over his head, flying directly at Aunt Petunia, who let out a scream and ducked, her arms over her face. The owl dropped the red envelope on her head, turned, and flew straight back up the chimney.**

**Harry darted forwards to pick up the letter, but Aunt Petunia beat him to it.**

**"You can open it if you like," said Harry, "but I'll hear what it says anyway. That's a Howler."**

Ron shuddered. "Hate those"

Harry sniggered. "You would." Ron shot him a glare.

**"Let go of it, Petunia!" roared Uncle Vernon. "Don't touch it, it could be dangerous!"**

**"It's addressed to me," said Aunt Petunia in a shaking voice. "It's addressed to me, Vernon, look! Mrs. Petunia Dursley, The Kitchen, Number Four, Privet Drive –"**

**She caught her breath, horrified. The red envelope had begun to smoke.**

**"Open it!' Harry urged her. "Get it over with! It'll happen anyway."**

**"No."**

**Aunt Petunia's hand was trembling. She looked wildly around the kitchen as though looking for an escape route, but too late -the envelope burst into flames. Aunt Petunia screamed and dropped it.**

**An awful voice filled the kitchen, echoing in the confined space, issuing from the burning letter on the table.**

**"REMEMBER MY LAST, PETUNIA."**

Harry looked suspiciously at Dumbledore, in retrospect, it seemed blaringly obvious : Who _else_had his address and the guts (insanity) to send the Dursleys a howler?

**Aunt Petunia looked as though she might faint. She sank into the chair beside Dudley, her face in her hands. The remains of the envelope smouldered into ash in the silence.**

**"What is this?" Uncle Vernon said hoarsely. "What - I don't -Petunia?"**

**Aunt Petunia said nothing. Dudley was staring stupidly at his mother, his mouth hanging open.**

**The silence spiraled horribly. Harry was watching his aunt, utterly bewildered, his head throbbing fit to burst.**

Luna shook her head in exasperation.

_That wasn't healthy._

**"Petunia, dear?" said Uncle Vernon timidly. "P-Petunia?"**

Emmeline snorted," It's sooo clear who is boss in this relaitionship"

Although he didn't say anything Snape shared the same sentiments, he was working very hard to keep the emotions of his face in case Lupin was watching, though.

_Damned werewolf..._

**She raised her head. She was still trembling. She swallowed.**

**"The boy - the boy will have to stay, Vernon," she said weakly.**

**"W-what?"**

**"He stays," she said. She was not looking at Harry. She got to her feet again.**

**"He… but Petunia…"**

**"If we throw him out, the neighbors will talk," she said. She was rapidly regaining her usual brisk, snappish manner, though she was still very pale. "They'll ask awkward questions, they'll want to know where he's gone. We'll have to keep him."**

"He has a name!" cried Sirius," Har-ry... How hard is it?"

"It's no use Sirius, I gave up a while back" said Harry

Sirius shook his head. _No kid should have to go through that. No one._

**Uncle Vernon was deflating like an old tire.**

**"But Petunia, dear –"**

**Aunt Petunia ignored him. She turned to Harry. "You're to stay in your room," she said. **

**"You're not to leave the house. Now get to bed."**

**"Who was that Howler from?"**

**"Don't ask questions," Aunt Petunia snapped.**

**"Are you in touch with wizards?"**

**"I told you to get to bed!"**

**"What did it mean? Remember the last what?"**

**"Go to bed!"**

**"How come -?"**

**"YOU HEARD YOUR AUNT, NOW GET TO BED!"**

And with that, Ron looked up from the book. By the time he looked back down again, Sirius had taken it and begun reading. **"Chapter Three : Advance Guard"**


	4. Advance Guard

**The Advance Guard**

Tonks cheered, "Finally! Something fun happens!"

Hestia nodded, "I agree," she said solemnly,. "Fun people are included."

Emmeline shook her head.

Harry looked confused, he glanced between them. _Hestia Jones and Emmeline Vance are certainly something else. . . . And they were his mother's friends too. . . ._

_**I've just been attacked by Dementors and I might be expelled from Hogwarts. I want to know what's going on and when I'm going to get out of here.**_

Sirius winced. "Yeahhhh. About that. . . ."

Harry waved his hand and leaned further back into the sofa. "S'Okay. . . . I get it."

**Harry copied these words onto three separate pieces of parchment the moment he reached the desk in his dark bedroom. He addressed the first to Sirius, the second to Ron and the third to Hermione.**

"Aww," Sirius said. "Now I don't feel special!"

Harry just rolled his eyes.

"You should," said Ron. "You got it first... And I'm his best mate . . . _for five years. . . ."_

Harry rolled his eyes _again._

Ginny nudged his side, "Careful. . . . Your eyes will fall out."

**His owl, Hedwig, was off hunting; her cage stood empty on the desk. Harry paced the bedroom waiting for her to come back, his head pounding, his brain too busy for sleep even though his eyes stung and itched with tiredness. His back ached from hauling Dudley home, and the two lumps on his head where the window and Dudley had hit him were throbbing painfully. **

"I should-" Sirius snarled but was put to a stop by Snape who sneered:

"As much I'd love love to see you play over-protective godfather, Black, I suggest we finish these books. The sooner we-" Snape's voice abruptly disappeared although his mouth kept moving, Sirius took this as invitation ( ignoring Snape's glare) to continue reading.

**Up and down he paced, consumed with anger and frustration, grinding his teeth and clenching his fists, casting angry looks out at the empty, star-strewn sky every time he passed the window. Dementors sent to get him, Mrs. Figg and Mundungus Fletcher tailing him in secret, then suspension from Hogwarts and a hearing at the Ministry of Magic - and still no one was telling him what was going on.**

**And what, what, had that Howler been about? Whose voice had echoed so horribly, so**  
**menacingly, through the kitchen?**

**Why was he still trapped here without information? Why was everyone treating him like some naughty kid? **_**Don't do any more magic, stay in the house…**_

**He kicked his school trunk as he passed it, but far from relieving his anger he felt worse, as he now had a sharp pain in his toe to deal with in addition to the pain in the rest of his body.**

Hermione, inspite of the guilt she was feeling snorted and shook her head, saying, "Typical, Harry, typical."

Harry almost pouted, "Hermione... I never noticed that you'e really _mean._"

"Oh, don't be a baby."

**Just as he limped past the window, Hedwig soared through it with a soft rustle of wings like a small ghost.**

**"About time!" Harry snarled, as she landed lightly on top of her cage. "You can put that down, I've got work for you!"**

"Don't take it out on your owl, Harry," said Charlie disapprovingly.

Remembering that Charlie was a very big supporter of animal rights, Harry hastened to assure him. "Don't worry, Charlie. Hedwig didn't let me forget it until I apologized. Profusely."

"That owl has attitude," chortled Sirius.

Harry smiled. "Tell me about it."

**Hedwig's large, round, amber eyes gazed at him reproachfully over the dead frog clamped in her beak.**

Charlie nodded as though all pets should look at their owners reproachfully to coerce them into apologizing.

Harry did not question it.

**"Come here," said Harry, picking up the three small rolls of parchment and a leather thong and tying the scrolls to her scaly leg. "Take these straight to Sirius, Ron and Hermione and don't come back here without good long replies. Keep pecking them till they've written decent-length answers if you've got to. Understand?"**

**Hedwig gave a muffled hooting noise, her beak still full of frog.**

Fleur made a face. _Disgusting._

**"Get going, then," said Harry.**

**She took off immediately. The moment she'd gone, Harry threw himself down on his bed**  
**without undressing and stared at the dark ceiling. In addition to every other miserable feeling, he now felt guilty that he'd been irritable with Hedwig; she was the only friend he had at number four, Privet Drive. But he'd make it up to her when she came back with the answers from Sirius, Ron and Hermione.**

"You know, Charlie," said Harry, scratching the back of his neck. "I would have apologized to her sooner but she just didn't return like I thought she would."

"No," said Ron, glaring at Harry. "She was too busy pecking us on _somebody's_orders"

Harry had the decency to look slightly abashed.

**They were bound to write back quickly; they couldn't possibly ignore a Dementor attack. He'd probably wake up tomorrow to three fat letters full of sympathy and plans for his immediate removal to The Burrow. And with that comforting idea, sleep rolled over him, stifling all further thought.**

**But Hedwig didn't return next morning. Harry spent the day in his bedroom, leaving it only to go to the bathroom. Three times that day Aunt Petunia shoved food into his room through the cat flap Uncle Vernon had installed three summers ago. Every time Harry heard her approaching he tried to question her about the Howler, but he might as well have interrogated the doorknob for all the answers he got. Otherwise, the Dursleys kept well clear of his bedroom. Harry couldn't see the point of forcing his company on them; another row would achieve nothing except perhaps make him so angry he'd perform more illegal magic.**

"Not necessarily a bad thing," said Sirius lightly.

"Mr. Black!" admonished Professor Mcgonagall.

"Terribly sorry, Minnie," said Sirius.

Professor Mcgonagall pressed her lip into a very straight, very thin line, as though she was trying not to smile.

**So it went on for three whole days. Harry was alternately filled with restless energy that made him unable to settle to anything, during which time he paced his bedroom, furious at the whole lot of them for leaving him to stew in this mess; and with a lethargy so complete that he could lie on his bed for an hour at a time, staring dazedly into space, aching with dread at the thought of the Ministry hearing.**

**What if they ruled against him? What if he was expelled and his wand was snapped in half? What would he do, where would he go? He could not return to living full-time with the Dursleys, not now he knew the other world, the one to which he really belonged. Might he be able to move into Sirius's house, as Sirius had suggested a year ago, before he had been forced to flee from the Ministry? Would Harry be allowed to live there alone, given that he was still underage? Or would the matter of where he went next be decided for him? Had his breach of the International Statute of Secrecy been severe enough to land him in a cell in Azkaban? Whenever this thought occurred, Harry invariably slid off his bed and began pacing again.**

"Never ending cycle," said Neville, smiling slightly.

"Horribly unhealthy," said Luna.

**On the fourth night after Hedwig's departure Harry was lying in one of his apathetic phases, staring at the ceiling, his exhausted mind quite blank, when his uncle entered his bedroom. Harry looked slowly around at him. Uncle Vernon was wearing his best suit and an expression of enormous smugness.**

Sirius made a face. "And here I was thinking that his face could not get any more un-attractive."

Remus snorted. "I doubt that. Remember Seventh Year? Christmas Holidays?"

"That was a fun time."

"Fun time?! That was epic!"

**"We're going out," he said.**

**"Sorry?"**

**"We - that is to say, your aunt, Dudley and I - are going out."**

**"Fine," said Harry dully, looking back at the ceiling.**

**"You are not to leave your bedroom while we are away."**

**"Okay."**

**"You are not to touch the television, the stereo, or any of our possessions."**

**"Right."**

**"You are not to steal food from the fridge."**

**"Okay."**

**"I am going to lock your door."**

**"You do that."**

"Productive conversation," snorted Remus.

**Uncle Vernon glared at Harry, clearly suspicious of this lack of argument, then stomped out of the room and closed the door behind him. Harry heard the key turn in the lock and Uncle Vernon's footsteps walking heavily down the stairs. A few minutes later he heard the slamming of car doors, the rumble of an engine, and the unmistakable sound of the car sweeping out of the drive.**

**Harry had no particular feeling about the Dursleys leaving. It made no difference to him whether they were in the house or not. He could not even summon the energy to get up and turn on his bedroom light. The room grew steadily darker around him as he lay listening to the night sounds through the window he kept open all the time, waiting for the blessed moment when Hedwig returned. The empty house creaked around him. The pipes gurgled. Harry lay there in a kind of stupor, thinking of nothing, suspended in misery.**

"Poetic, mate."

"We were right about the symphony of wit."

**Then, quite distinctly, he heard a crash in the kitchen below. He sat bolt upright, listening intently. The Dursleys couldn't be back, it was much too soon, and in any case he hadn't heard their car.**

"Three guesses who caused the crash," growled Moody.

Tonks seemed simply delighted. "Moody! You do have a sense of humor!"

"I was merely stating a fact."

"It's a start," she said dismissively.

**There was silence for a few seconds, then voices. Burglars, he thought, sliding off the bed onto his feet - but a split second later it occurred to him that burglars would keep their voices down, and whoever was moving around in the kitchen was certainly not troubling to do so.**

"Good instincts, Potter," Moody growled. Harry couldn't help but feel a little proud.

**He snatched up his wand from the bedside table and stood facing his bedroom door, listening with all his might. Next moment, he jumped as the lock gave a loud click and his door swung open. Harry stood motionless, staring through the open doorway at the dark upstairs landing, straining his ears for further sounds, but none came. He hesitated for a moment, then moved swiftly and silently out of his room to the head of the stairs.**

**His heart shot upwards into his throat. There were people standing in the shadowy hall below, silhouetted against the streetlight glowing through the glass door; eight or nine of them, all, as far as he could see, looking up at him.**

**"Lower your wand, boy, before you take someone's eye out," said a low, growling voice.**  
**Harry's heart was thumping uncontrollably. He knew that voice, but he did not lower his wand.**  
Moody nodded again. Harry felt even better. That was destroyed when he saw Snape's glare.

**"Professor Moody?" he said uncertainly.**

**"I don't know so much about 'Professor'," growled the voice, "never got round to much**  
**teaching, did I? Get down here, we want to see you properly."**

**Harry lowered his wand slightly but did not relax his grip on it, nor did he move. He had very good reason to be suspicious. He had recently spent nine months in what he had thought was Mad-Eye Moody's company only to find out that it wasn't Moody at all, but an impostor; an impostor, moreover, who had tried to kill Harry before being unmasked. But before he could make a decision about what to do next, a second, slightly hoarse voice floated upstairs.**

**"It's all right, Harry. We've come to take you away."**

**Harry's heart leapt. He knew that voice, too, though he hadn't heard it for over a year.**

Although Remus didn't show it, he was ridiculously pleased that Harry was happy to hear his voice.

**"P-Professor Lupin?" he said disbelievingly. "Is that you?"**

**"Why are we all standing in the dark?" said a third voice, this one completely unfamiliar, a woman's. "Lumos."**

Tonks grinned at Harry and said, "Don't know who that is. . . . She must be clever, though. . . ."

"Not clever enough not to give us away the second we walked into the house," Moody growled.

She looked over at him patronizingly, "Mad-Eye, have you ever seen a therapist about your issues with repressed anger?"

Sirius' almost couldn't read because he was laughing so hard (like everyone else) at Moody's expression (and shock).

**A wand-tip flared, illuminating the hall with magical light. Harry blinked. The people below were crowded around the foot of the stairs, gazing up at him intently, some craning their heads for a better look.**

**Remus Lupin stood nearest to him. Though still quite young, Lupin looked tired and rather ill; he had more grey hairs than when Harry had last said goodbye to him and his robes were more patched and shabbier than ever. Nevertheless, he was smiling broadly at Harry, who tried to smile back despite his state of shock.**

**"Oooh, he looks just like I thought he would," said the witch who was holding her lit wand aloft.**

**She looked the youngest there; she had a pale heart-shaped face, dark twinkling eyes, and short spiky hair that was a violent shade of violet. "Wotcher, Harry!"**

Tonks pumped her fist in the air. "By far the coolest person there"

**"Yeah, I see what you mean, Remus," said a bald black wizard standing furthest back - he had a deep, slow voice and wore a single gold hoop in his ear - "he looks exactly like James."**

**"Except the eyes," said a wheezy-voiced, silver-haired wizard at the back. "Lily's eyes."**

Harry looked down at the table. Everyone looked at him. Sirius began to read again, for once taking the hint.

**Mad-Eye Moody, who had long grizzled grey hair and a large chunk missing from his nose, was squinting suspiciously at Harry through his mismatched eyes. One eye was small, dark and beady, the other large, round and electric blue - the magical eye that could see through walls, doors and the back of Moody's own head. "Are you quite sure it's him, Lupin?" he growled. "It'd be a nice lookout if we bring back some Death Eater impersonating him. We ought to ask him something only the real Potter would know. Unless anyone brought any Veritaserum?"**

**"Harry, what form does your Patronus take?" Lupin asked.**

**"A stag," said Harry nervously.**

**"That's him, Mad-Eye," said Lupin.**

**Very conscious of everybody still staring at him, Harry descended the stairs, stowing his wand in the back pocket of his jeans as he came.**

**"Don't put your wand there, boy!" roared Moody. "What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!"**

**"Who d'you know who's lost a buttock?" the violet-haired woman asked Mad-Eye interestedly.**

"Bet it was him," muttered Tonks to Remus who had to suppress his laughter by pushing the back of his hand over his mouth. He didn't exactly succeed, drawing curious and smug/knowing (only Sirius) from everyone.

**"Never you mind, you just keep your wand out of your back pocket!" growled Mad-Eye.**

**"Elementary wand-safety, nobody bothers about it any more." He stumped off towards the kitchen. "And I saw that," he added irritably, as the woman rolled her eyes towards the ceiling.**

**Lupin held out his hand and shook Harry's.**

**"How are you?" he asked, looking closely at Harry.**

**"F-fine…"**

Ron rolled his eyes and then looked at Remus and explained, "When Harry says 'fine' it means he's the complete opposite of that."

Ginny and Hermione nodded and Neville said, " Even I know he's lying."

**Harry could hardly believe this was real. Four weeks with nothing, not the tiniest hint of a plan to remove him from Privet Drive, and suddenly a whole bunch of wizards was standing matter-of factly in the house as though this was a long-standing arrangement. He glanced at the people surrounding Lupin; they were still gazing avidly at him. He felt very conscious of the fact that he had not combed his hair for four days.**

**"I'm - you're really lucky the Dursleys are out…" he mumbled.**

**"Lucky, ha!" said the violet-haired woman. "It was me who lured them out of the way. Sent a letter by Muggle post telling them they'd been short-listed for the All-England Best Kept Suburban Lawn Competition. They're heading off to the prize-giving right now… or they think they are."**

"How cool am I?" said Tonks proudly.

Fleur looked irritated with Tonks at which Molly turned to glare at her.

**Harry had a fleeting vision of Uncle Vernon's face when he realized there was no All-England Best Kept Suburban Lawn Competition.**

**"We are leaving, aren't we?" he asked. "Soon?"**

**"Almost at once," said Lupin, "we're just waiting for the all-clear."**

**"Where are we going? The Burrow?" Harry asked hopefully.**

Molly smiled slightly. _Hopefully, _she thought.

**"Not The Burrow, no," said Lupin, motioning Harry towards the kitchen; the little knot of**  
**wizards followed, all still eyeing Harry curiously. "Too risky. We've set up Headquarters**  
**somewhere undetectable. It's taken a while…"**

**Mad-Eye Moody was now sitting at the kitchen table swigging from a hip flask, his magical eye spinning in all directions, taking in the Dursleys' many labor-saving appliances.**

**"This is Alastor Moody, Harry" Lupin continued, pointing towards Moody.**

**"Yeah, I know," said Harry uncomfortably. It felt odd to be introduced to somebody he'd**  
**thought he'd known for a year.**

"Well," said Bill. " I mean you didn't technically _know _him because that was an impo-"

"Thank you for the lecture, Professor" interrupted Charlie sarcastically at which Bill went slightly red, causing the twins to snigger.

**"And this is Nymphadora -"**

**"Don't call me Nymphadora, Remus," said the young witch with a shudder, "it's Tonks."**

**"Nymphadora Tonks, who prefers to be known by her surname only," finished Lupin.**

**"So would you if your fool of a mother had called you Nymphadora," muttered Tonks.**

**"And this is Kingsley Shacklebolt." He indicated the tall black wizard, who bowed. "Elphias Doge." The wheezy-voiced wizard nodded. "Dedalus Diggle -"**

Harry snorted softly, remembering his various meetings with Dedalus Diggle.

**"We've met before," squeaked the excitable Diggle, dropping his violet-colored top hat.**

**"Emmeline Vance." A stately-looking witch in an emerald green shawl inclined her head.**  
**"Sturgis Podmore." A square-jawed wizard with thick straw-colored hair winked. "And Hestia Jones." A pink-cheeked, black-haired witch waved from next to the toaster.**

**Harry inclined his head awkwardly at each of them as they were introduced. He wished they would look at something other than him; it was as though he had suddenly been ushered onstage. He also wondered why so many of them were there.**

**"A surprising number of people volunteered to come and get you," said Lupin, as though he had read Harry's mind; the corners of his mouth twitched slightly.**

"He's good at that" said Sirius in reference to Remus' mind reading ability.

**"Yeah, well, the more the better," said Moody darkly. "We're your guard, Potter."**

**"We're just waiting for the signal to tell us it's safe to set off," said Lupin, glancing out of the kitchen window. "We've got about fifteen minutes."**

**"Very clean, aren't they, these Muggles?" said the witch called Tonks, who was looking around the kitchen with great interest. "My dad's Muggle-born and he's a right old slob. I suppose it varies, just as it does with wizards?"**

**"Er - yeah," said Harry. "Look -" he turned back to Lupin, "what's going on, I haven't heard anything from anyone, what's Vol—?"**

**Several of the witches and wizards made odd hissing noises; Dedalus Diggle dropped his hat again and Moody growled, "Shut up!"**

**"What?" said Harry.**

**"We're not discussing anything here, it's too risky," said Moody, turning his normal eye on Harry. His magical eye remained focused on the ceiling. "Damn it," he added angrily, putting a hand up to the magical eye, "it keeps getting stuck - ever since that scum wore it."**

**And with a nasty squelching sound much like a plunger being pulled from a sink, he popped out his eye.**

Most of the girls in the room looked absolutely disgusted (as did several of the boys), making Moody laugh. There disgusted expressions abruptly changed. Moody's laugh is quite creepy.

**"Mad-Eye, you do know that's disgusting, don't you?" said Tonks conversationally.**

**"Get me a glass of water, would you, Harry," requested Moody.**

**Harry crossed to the dishwasher, took out a clean glass and filled it with water at the sink, still watched eagerly by the band of wizards. Their relentless staring was starting to annoy him.**

**"Cheers," said Moody, when Harry handed him the glass. He dropped the magical eyeball into the water and prodded it up and down; the eye whizzed around, staring at them all in turn. "I want three hundred and sixty degrees visibility on the return journey."**

**"How're we getting - wherever we're going?" Harry asked.**

"Eloquent."

**"Brooms," said Lupin. "Only way. You're too young to Apparate, they'll be watching the Floo Network and it's more than our life's worth to set up an unauthorized Portkey."**

**"Remus says you're a good flier," said Kingsley Shacklebolt in his deep voice.**

**"He's excellent," said Lupin, who was checking his watch. "Anyway, you'd better go and get packed, Harry, we want to be ready to go when the signal comes."**

**"I'll come and help you," said Tonks brightly.**

Sirius winced,"Not the best idea"

"What's that supposed to mean, Sirius?"

"Well, no offense Tonks, but you really aren't the best person to help people clean up..."

**She followed Harry back into the hall and up the stairs, looking around with much curiosity and interest.**

**"Funny place," she said. "It's a bit too clean, d'you know what I mean? Bit unnatural. Oh, this is better," she added, as they entered Harry's bedroom and he turned on the light.**

"You aren't a very good role model, are you Tonks?"  
"That's what people like you are for, Remus"

**His room was certainly much messier than the rest of the house. Confined to it for four days in a very bad mood, Harry had not bothered tidying up after himself. Most of the books he owned were strewn over the floor where he'd tried to distract himself with each in turn and thrown it aside; Hedwig's cage needed cleaning out and was starting to smell; and his trunk lay open, revealing a jumbled mixture of Muggle clothes and wizards' robes that had spilled onto the floor around it.**

**Harry started picking up books and throwing them hastily into his trunk. Tonks paused at his open wardrobe to look critically at her reflection in the mirror on the inside of the door.**

**"You know, I don't think violet's really my color," she said pensively, tugging at a lock of spiky hair. "D'you think it makes me look a bit peaky?"**

**"Er -" said Harry, looking up at her over the top of Quidditch Teams of Britain and Ireland.**

Arthur smiled faintly" Good answer"

**"Yeah, it does," said Tonks decisively. She screwed up her eyes in a strained expression as though she was struggling to remember something. A second later, her hair had turned bubblegum pink.**

**"How did you do that?" said Harry, gaping at her as she opened her eyes again.**

**"I'm a Metamorphmagus," she said, looking back at her reflection and turning her head so that she could see her hair from all directions. "It means I can change my appearance at will," she added, spotting Harry's puzzled expression in the mirror behind her. "I was born one. I got top marks in Concealment and Disguise during Auror training without any study at all, it was great."**

**"You're an Auror?" said Harry, impressed. Being a Dark-wizard-catcher was the only career he'd ever considered after Hogwarts.**

Harry grinned at Ron and Hermione. remembering what Moody (well, the fake one) had told them last year.

**"Yeah," said Tonks, looking proud. "Kingsley is as well, he's a bit higher up than me, though. I only qualified a year ago. Nearly failed on Stealth and Tracking. I'm dead clumsy, did you hear me break that plate when we arrived downstairs?"**

**"**I think the whole neighborhood heard it" grumbled Moody

"That's quite enough, Alastor" said Professor Mcgonagall sharply

**"Can you learn how to be a Metamorphmagus?" Harry asked her, straightening up, completely forgetting about packing.**

**Tonks chuckled.**

**"Bet you wouldn't mind hiding that scar sometimes, eh?"**

**Her eyes found the lightning-shaped scar on Harry's forehead.**

**"No, I wouldn't mind," Harry mumbled, turning away. He did not like people staring at his scar.**

Snape raised his eyebrows._ Excuse me?_

**"Well, you'll have to learn the hard way, I'm afraid," said Tonks. "Metamorphmagi are really rare, they're born, not made. Most wizards need to use a wand, or potions, to change their appearance. But we've got to get going, Harry, we're supposed to be packing," she added guiltily, looking around at all the mess on the floor.**

**"Oh — yeah," said Harry, grabbing a few more books.**

**"Don't be stupid, it'll be much quicker if I - pack!" cried Tonks, waving her wand in a long, sweeping movement over the floor.**

**Books, clothes, telescope and scales all soared into the air and flew pell-mell into the trunk.**

**"It's not very neat," said Tonks, walking over to t he trunk and looking down at the jumble inside. "My mums got this knack of getting stuff to fit itself in neatly - she even gets the socks to fold themselves - but I've never mastered how she does it - it's a kind of flick -" **

"Oh, yeah, I know that one," Sirius said lazily. "_I_taught it to Andromeda."

"_You_taught it to my mum," Tonks said incredulously.

"The one thing that my mother managed to beat into me was a sense in cleanliness. Azkaban beat it out."

**She flicked her wand hopefully. One of Harry's socks gave a feeble sort of wiggle and flopped back on top of the mess in the trunk.**

**"Ah, well," said Tonks, slamming the trunk's lid shut, "at least it's all in. That could do with a bit of cleaning, too." She pointed her wand at Hedwig's cage. "Scourgify." A few feathers and droppings vanished. "Well, that's a bit better - I've never quite got the hang of these householdy sort of spells. Right - got everything? Cauldron? Broom? Wow! - A Firebolt!"**

**Her eyes widened as they fell on the broomstick in Harry's right hand it was his pride and joy, a gift from Sirius, an international-standard broomstick.**

"Sirius!" said Tonks, looking scandalized.

"What?" said Sirius, startled.

"You've known me longer!"

"So?"

"I want a firebolt!"

"Sorry, Tonks. Harry's cooler"

**"And I'm still riding a Comet Two Sixty" said Tonks enviously. "Ah well… wand still in your jeans? Both buttocks still on? Okay, let's go. Locomotor trunk."**

**Harry's trunk rose a few inches into the air. Holding her wand like a conductor's baton, Tonks made the trunk hover across the room and out of the door ahead of them, Hedwig's cage in her left hand. Harry followed her down the stairs carrying his broomstick.**

**Back in the kitchen Moody had replaced his eye, which was spinning so fast after its cleaning it made Harry feel sick to look at it. Kingsley Shacklebolt and Sturgis Podmore were examining the microwave and Hestia Jones was laughing at a potato peeler she had come across while rummaging in the drawers. Lupin was sealing a letter addressed to the Dursleys.**

**"Excellent," said Lupin, looking up as Tonks and Harry entered. "We've got about a minute, I think. We should probably get out into the garden so we're ready. Harry, I've left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry –"**

**"They won't," said Harry.**

**"- that you're safe -"**

**"That'll just depress them."**

**"- and you'll see them next summer."**

**"Do I have to?"**

**Lupin smiled but made no answer.**

Remus shook his head "I thought you were kidding!"

**"Come here, boy," said Moody gruffly, beckoning Harry towards him with his wand. "I need to Disillusion you."**

**"You need to what?" said Harry nervously.**

**"Disillusionment Charm," said Moody, raising his wand. "Lupin says you've got an Invisibility Cloak, but it won't stay on while we're flying; this'll disguise you better. Here you go -**

**He rapped him hard on the top of the head and Harry felt a curious sensation as though Moody had just smashed an egg there; cold trickles seemed to be running down his body from the point the wand had struck.**

**"Nice one, Mad-Eye," said Tonks appreciatively, staring at Harry's midriff.**

**Harry looked down at his body, or rather, what had been his body, for it didn't look anything like his any more. It was not invisible; it had simply taken on the exact color and texture of the kitchen unit behind him. He seemed to have become a human chameleon.**

"Nah," said Sirius," Tonks is a human chamaleon"

"But, Sirius," interjected Hermione," A chameleon-"

"Hermione, I really don't think anyone cares, honestly" said Ron

Harry buried his head in his hands," Sirius, please, please read" he said, his voice muffled.

**"Come on," said Moody, unlocking the back door with his wand.**

**They all stepped outside onto Uncle Vernon's beautifully kept lawn.**

**"Clear night," grunted Moody, his magical eye scanning the heavens. "Could've done with a bit more cloud cover. Right, you," he barked at Harry," we're going to be flying in close formation. Tonks'll be right in front of you, keep close on her tail. Lupin'll be covering you from below I'm going to be behind you. The rest'll be circling us. We don't break ranks for anything, got me? If one of us is killed -**

**"Is that likely?" Harry asked apprehensively, but Moody ignored him.**

**"- the others keep flying, don't stop, don't break ranks. If they take out all of us and you survive, Harry, the rear guard are standing by to take over; keep flying east and they'll join you."**

**"Stop being so cheerful, Mad-Eye, he'll think we're not taking this seriously" said Tonks, as she strapped Harry's trunk and Hedwig's cage into a harness hanging from her broom.**

**"I'm just telling the boy the plan," growled Moody. "Our jobs to deliver him safely to**  
**Headquarters and if we die in the attempt –"**

**"No one's going to die," said Kingsley Shacklebolt in his deep, calming voice.**

"Thank you, Kingsley" said Molly shooting Moody a glare.

**"Mount your brooms, that's the first signal!" said Lupin sharply pointing into the sky.**

**Far, far above them, a shower of bright red sparks had flared among the stars, Harry recognized them at once as wand sparks. He swung his right leg over his Firebolt, gripped its handle tightly and felt it vibrating very slightly, as though it was as keen as he was to be up in the air once more.**

**"Second signal, let's go!" said Lupin loudly as more sparks, green this time, exploded high above them.**

**Harry kicked off hard from the ground. The cool night air rushed through his hair as the neat square gardens of Privet Drive fell away, shrinking rapidly into a patchwork of dark greens and blacks, and every thought of the Ministry hearing was swept from his mind as though the rush of air had blown it out of his head. He felt as though his heart was going to explode with pleasure; he was flying again, flying away from Privet Drive as he'd been fantasizing about all summer, he was going home… for a few glorious moments, all his problems seemed to recede to nothing, insignificant in the vast, starry sky.**

Charlie nodded before he turned to glare at Bill. "It's not just me you know. Other people are like that too."

**"Hard left, hard left, there's a Muggle looking up!" shouted Moody from behind him. Tonks swerved and Harry followed her, watching his trunk swinging wildly beneath her broom. "We need more height… give it another quarter of a mile!"**

**Harry's eyes watered in the chill as they soared upwards; he could see nothing below now but tiny pinpricks of light that were car headlights and streetlamps. Two of those tiny lights might belong to Uncle Vernon's car… the Dursleys would be heading back to their empty house right now, full of rage about the non-existent Lawn Competition… and Harry laughed aloud at the thought, though his voice was drowned by the flapping robes of the others, the creaking of the harness holding his trunk and the cage, and the whoosh of the wind in their ears as they sped through the air. He had not felt this alive in a month, or this happy.**

**"Bearing south!" shouted Mad-Eye. "'Town ahead!"**

**They soared right to avoid passing directly over the glittering spider's web of lights below.**

**"Bear southeast and keep climbing, there's some low cloud ahead we can lose **  
**ourselves in!" called Moody.**

**"We're not going through clouds!" shouted Tonks angrily, "we'll get soaked, Mad-Eye!"**

**Harry was relieved to hear her say this; his hands were growing numb on the Firebolt's handle. He wished he had thought to put on a coat; he was starting to shiver.**

Molly tutted,_ terribly irresponsible._

**They altered their course every now and then according to Mad-Eyes instructions. Harry's eyes were screwed up against the rush of icy wind that was starting to make his ears ache; he could remember being this cold on a broom only once before, during the Quidditch match against Hufflepuff in his third year, which had taken place in a storm. The guard around him was circling continuously like giant birds of prey. Harry lost track of time. He wondered how long they had been flying, it felt like an hour at least.**

Sirius and Harry winced simultaneously, remembering the same incident.

**"Turning southwest!" yelled Moody "We want to avoid the motorway!"**

**Harry was now so chilled he thought longingly of the snug, dry interiors of the cars streaming along below, then, even more longingly, of traveling by Floo powder; it might be uncomfortable to spin around in fireplaces but it was at least warm in the flames… Kingsley Shacklebolt swooped around him, bald pate and earring gleaming slightly in the moonlight… now Emmeline Vance was on his right, her wand out, her head turning left and right… then she, too, swooped over him, to be replaced by Sturgis Podmore…**

**"We ought to double back for a bit, just to make sure we're not being followed!" Moody**  
**shouted.**

**Professor Mcgonagall shook her head," Paranoid" she muttered**

**"It pays off," retorted Moody, causing Professor Mcgonagall to start**

**How did he here?...**  
**"ARE YOU MAD, MAD-EYE"' Tonks screamed from the front. "We're all frozen to our**  
**brooms! If we keep going off-course we're not going to get there until next week! Besides, we're nearly there now!"**

**"Time to start the descent!" came Lupin's voice. "Follow Tonks, Harry!"**

"Ever, the diplomat", said Sirius," Eh, Moony?"

He snorted," Somebody had to be, with you, Lily and James around."

"Touche"

**Harry followed Tonks into a dive. They were heading for the largest collection of lights he had yet seen, a huge, sprawling crisscrossing mass, glittering in lines and grids, interspersed with patches of deepest black. Lower and lower they flew, until Harry could see individual headlights and streetlamps, chimneys and television aerials. He wanted to reach the ground very much, though he felt sure someone would have to unfreeze him from his broom.**

**"Here we go!" called Tonks, and a few seconds later she had landed.**

**Harry touched down right behind her and dismounted on a patch of unkempt grass in the middle of a small square. Tonks was already unbuckling Harry's trunk. Shivering, Harry looked around. The grimy fronts of the surrounding houses were not welcoming; some of them had broken windows, glimmering dully in the light fro the streetlamps, paint was peeling from many of the doors and heaps of rubbish lay outside several sets of front steps.**

**"Where are we?" Harry asked, but Lupin said quietly, "In a minute."**

**Moody was rummaging in his cloak, his gnarled hands clumsy with cold.**

**"Got it," he muttered, raising what looked like a silver cigarette lighter into the air and clicking it.**

Dumbledore smiled faintly. _Cigarette lighter, if only they knew..._

**The nearest streetlamp went out with a pop. He clicked the unlighter again; the next lamp went out; he kept clicking until every lamp in the square was extinguished and the only remaining light came from curtained windows and the sickle moon overhead.**

**"Borrowed it from Dumbledore," growled Moody, pocketing the Put-Outer. "That'll take care of any Muggles looking out of the window, see? Now come on, quick."**

**He took Harry by the arm and led him from the patch of grass, across the road and on to the pavement; Lupin and Tonks followed, carrying Harry's trunk between them, the rest of the guard, all with their wands out, flanking them.**

**The muffled pounding of a stereo was coming from an upper window in the nearest house. A pungent smell of rotting rubbish came from the pile of bulging bin-bags just inside the broken gate.**

"Charming" said Emmeline

"My mother's house, what can I say?" said Sirius," Such taste"

**"Here," Moody muttered, thrusting a piece of parchment towards Harry's Disillusioned hand and holding his lit wand close to it, so as to illuminate the writing. "Read quickly and memorise."**

_Fidelius Charm_, thought Sirius sadly

**Harry looked down at the piece of paper. The narrow handwriting was vaguely familiar. It said:**

**The Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London.**

* * *

**Reviews** are Sirius Black and James Potter outside your house.

So **review**, yeah?


	5. Really really important Must read

Heyyyy. Please don't kill me?

Okay, this story is abandoned. Mostly. I might get the sudden inspiration (or partner) to start it up again but... Well I don't know.

So... As a little consolation prize, seeing as I feel bad for leaving all you guys hanging... I'm going to do 3 more chapters.

The content of those chapters are entirely up to you guys. Tell me the chapter you write me to write and the people reading. The chapter can also, besides obviously being one from the hp books, be a certain canon one shot. And by that I mean, find a one shot you want characters to read and send it over. Any one shot (I love Jily pleasepleaseplease).

Let me know. PM or Reviews. You have a week.

Cheers,

Ruby.


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